


I Can't Let You Slide Through My Hands

by sanbika



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Astral Projection, F/F, Hallucinations, Healing, Hero's Journey, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Whump, Lance (Voltron)-centric, M/M, Mutual Pining, Obsessive Behavior, Panic Attacks, Rehabilitation, Rescue Missions, Torture, Voltron Paladin to Paladin Psychic Bond, dislocation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 10:15:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20133814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanbika/pseuds/sanbika
Summary: Zethrid has lost her ship, her lover, her team, and her leader. When she sees the opportunity to bring Voltron to its knees, she takes it. And with Lance gone, Keith and the rest of the team have to figure out how to save him before it's too late.





	1. Act One: Soldier's Poem

**Author's Note:**

> There are easter eggs in this story, tributes to stories I read as a kid and loved. If you can find them, I will write a drabble for you ;)
> 
> Also each chapter title is a really good song that was relevant to this story. If you want to listen while you read, go ahead. Otherwise I recommend the Interstellar soundtrack to set the mood.

_ How could you send us all far away from home _

_ When you know damn well that this is all _

_ I would still lay down my life for you _

** **

If she were a weaker being, she might have been distraught, piloting a damaged emergency pod alone, to an unknown destination. As it was, all she felt was a twist in her gut. Her eye was twitching too, but that was mostly because of the steadily growing headache from the exertion of the fight. 

** **

It had nothing to do with the empty seat next to her or the searing kiss she could still feel on her cheek when she realized her tearful partner wasn’t coming with her. 

** **

_ Zee, why can’t you wake up? There’s nothing to find. Look at what we’ve lost! What we’re losing! Our home is being destroyed! We need to move on. We have to stop this. And we can’t forget, Lotor killed Narti- _

** **

Zethrid felt the sting of those words more keenly now that she had escaped from the burning rubble of their warship and slammed a shaking fist on the console. It was as if Ezor were here, whispering desperately into her ear, but she was alone in the pod. Still the fur on the back of her neck raised as though the person on her mind was haunting her. 

** **

She shifted her attention to the sight before her and grimaced: the ship they’d captained and spent phoebs on together was burning in chains of explosions, drifting in space. It seemed fitting as she felt so close to falling apart herself at the moment. She shook her hand out, finally noticing the sting of her claws from clenching her fist too tightly. 

** **

_ Sometimes the universe or Bob or whatever you want to call it is too cruel. _

** **

What they’d had, the five of them, it was the closest thing to family she’d ever known. To give it up, to give Lotor up without ever knowing why he’d taken their family and destroyed it so neatly, to wonder how a family could dissolve as though doused in acid in the span of a few tics…. 

** **

How someone you have grown to treasure more than anything else could stab you in the heart and tell you to give up the only thing that made your life meaningful. 

** **

Zethrid set the pod on a cautious auto-pilot, taking a long breath as her gaze drifted between patches of debris. Her head and chest throbbed as she input instructions so her pod would fly in stealth mode, undetectable by radar and using a mirroring technology to blend in with the surroundings. 

** **

The console was alight with warning lights and all around her, their ship burned and broke apart in chunks. She hoped pitifully that Ezor was navigating the destruction carefully on her own. One poor decision and she would easily be crushed. And E wasn’t known for her attention span.

** **

Well. She’d made her choices. 

** **

Zethrid had quickly put together a new plan of action; her goal was to follow the paladins somehow, or at least have a bearing on where they seemed to be headed. It was proving too difficult to maintain a safe distance from the fighting and all of the debris while using the auto-pilot, so she grit her teeth and placed the pod in manual control. 

** **

It took every ounce of concentration she had between maneuvering the ship so it stayed hidden behind debris and checking the radar every few tics for any trajectories that would bring hunks of metal dangerously close. Her ears began to flick and her claws slicked with sweat from the stress but she could only focus on the lights of the Voltron paladins speeding away from her. 

** **

In the near distance she watched the paladins fighting her crew as they fled to their lions. Surely they’d follow their usual tactic of wormholing away. She growled as she realized she wouldn’t get nearly close enough to make it and the emptiness in the pit of her stomach yawned wider. 

** **

She had to make it. She had to find Lotor and they were her only clue. 

** **

Otherwise what was left for her?

** **

She had nothing left to lose.

** **

For a moment, panic overwhelmed her and it wasn’t a feeling she was familiar with. The enormity of their losses smothered her. She pressed on, focusing her eyes on the lights, forcing the swirling thoughts out of her mind as best she could.

** **

Narti dead? 

** **

Lotor missing? 

** **

The team shattered?

** **

Acxa betraying them?

** **

Ezor… gone? 

** **

She gasped in a breath and tried to stop her shaking through sheer force of will. She grit her teeth and berated herself, “Pull it together; you have to get a hold of yourself. You can’t fix everything if you lose it like this!”

** **

But still her heart raced and her eyes burned, and that feeling of being truly alone ripped through her and stole her breath.  _ No _ ! She would claw her own mind apart before she let her weakness fail her team.

** **

And then she saw it. 

** **

One of the paladins was lagging behind, not yet in his lion. It looked like the blue one. The loud one. 

** **

She zoomed her camera in on her target to see that one of his jet packs had been damaged, most likely when he’d been thrown across the cell, or perhaps when they’d gotten off the ship. It wasn’t failing but seemed damaged enough that he was steadily losing distance, a dobash or so behind his team. They were distracted anyway, fighting the last remaining Galra crew. 

** **

Her heartbeat shot back up as she assessed the distance and path. It’d be dangerous, especially as she would have to head back towards the ship, and into the heaviest part of the debris field. 

** **

She would have to use a harness and tether to exit and re-enter the pod. She could be killed by the pieces of wreckage. She would have to subdue him in less than a few tics or he’d alert his team and they might kill her trying to rescue him. And then she would have to get him into the pod and immediately kill her fuel to get to a space station or planet that wouldn’t sell her out to the Empire or ask too many questions. 

** **

She would be risking her life multiple times to even attempt this  —  but there was a chance she could intercept him…

** **

A varga later, Zethrid was piloting the pod using the last reserves of fuel headed toward a rundown Unilu space station. The paladin was in an unconscious heap on the floor, lanky limbs bound by energy cables. He’d put up a fight at first, squawking and flailing around, but she’d smashed her fist into his helmet, destroyed the communicator, and wrapped her thick arms around his neck to cut off his air supply. 

** **

He’d passed out in moments. 

** **

The other paladins hadn’t yet noticed his absence and she’d gone back into stealth mode in less than five doboshes. As an extra precaution she engaged a signal disruptor on the dash. The paladin most likely had a tracker on him and she didn’t have time to hunt for it. 

** **

Excepting one moment when her tether had nearly snapped, it had been too easy. What had she expected? These paladins were worse than new Galra recruits, ignorant and inexperienced, playing right into her hands. 

** **

_Sometimes_ _the universe is too cruel. But not always. _

** **

The pod indicators flashed red, as her fuel reserves dropped dangerously low but it didn’t matter. She was drawing close to the outpost on her radar. Esgarrouth loomed ahead, an Unilu trading post and refueling hub that was notorious for shady dealings you didn’t want the Empire knowing about. 

** **

If you were there, generally you didn’t want people to know why. She’d be able to keep her cover and interrogate the paladin. She’d find Lotor and do whatever it took to get things back to the way they were. 

** **

As she approached the station, a video screen opened on her console. She was being hailed. 

** **

A ripple of discomfort threaded through her mind and she made the call to put her face shield on, obscuring her face and altering her voice. She hoped they wouldn’t require visual scanning identification. She didn’t have anyone else to rely on, which stung as she thought it, but she reminded herself that she’d been through worse. Zethrid answered the call. 

** **

A bored Unilu male came into view, old by the look of it and missing an eye and some teeth. 

** **

“Name?” He drawled into his microphone, a wheeze distorting his feed. 

** **

She sneered at him behind her mask. 

** **

“Zillaire Razeel Shakath, from the Galra ship ZAR9167.”

** **

It was an old alias that hopefully hadn’t been flagged by the Empire. 

** **

The Unilu scratched the tufts of his hair on his scalp and used a long finger to pick at his ear.

** **

_ Disgusting _ . 

** **

“Purpose?”

** **

“Refuel and supplies. I may stay up to a movement or two, depending on my traveling companions. Our plans were disrupted and they-” 

** **

“Do your activities in Esgarrouth fall outside of Galra law?”

** **

As he spoke, an image came up on the screen, the announcement declaring Zethrid and the other Generals as enemies of the Galran Empire. He shouldn’t know… how could he know? But even though her face and voice were disguised, and she had tried to use an alias, her stomach sank as she raced to think of another plan. 

** **

It should’ve been impossible but the Unilu also snuck around rats, hoarding every scrap of information and sitting on it until it was useful. Of course they would already know. 

** **

She waited a beat, thinking of a believable lie, but before she could answer the Unilu coughed sharply and she realized he had never even looked at her, his eyes on some vidscreen brassily announcing a race. His grubby finger pointed at a laser display beaming a serial number of some kind into his projected image. 

** **

A bribe. 

** **

This was going to be too easy. 

** **

Zethrid quickly pulled up an untraceable channel and sent a tidy sum into the account. Thankfully, being a loyal soldier for Lotor had been lucrative. It’d be withdrawn within the varga and the account destroyed. She had just paid for her own immunity. No one would bother her while she was on the station. 

** **

Zethrid smiled behind her mask, looking back at the heap on the floor behind her. 

** **

“Of course not, just a standard refuel and maintenance check. Shouldn’t take too long.”

** **

The Unilu swiped through his tablet before nodding. 

** **

“There’s a rest station you can store your pod at and pick up supplies while you’re docked. Axel’s Waystation. My cousin, he’ll give you a good deal. Tell him Zagnien sent you. I’ll send you the docking number now.” 

** **

“Affirmative. Is that all?”

** **

The Unilu shook his head and turned back to whatever he had been watching, his voice droning on as normal. 

** **

“You’re cleared for landing. Welcome to Esgarrouth. Enjoy your stay.”

With that, the vidcall ended and Zethrid entered the docking number into her system, noticing the stall and stutter of the engines. She was lucky it had made it this far. But she didn’t really believe in luck. She was on the right path.

** **

_ This was meant to be. _

** **

And with that thought distracting her from the swirl of memories tugging and rippling under her skin, she started a message to the waystation, detailing everything she might need. She had paid for them to look the other way, so there was no point in hiding her purpose. She could only hope that such a far-removed outpost would have a good taser on hand...

** **

“Aaaahh.” The crumpled human had begun to stir and groan. As he fluttered his eyes, rage coursed through Zethrid. The paladins were why her family had been ripped apart, although her gut twisted as if to remind her that wasn’t entirely true. 

** **

Zethrid had been fighting back the pain inside needlessly. She had a purpose, to rescue Lotor and bring the team back together, and now she had a target. 

** **

That was enough to focus on. 

** **

She placed the pod on an auto-docking sequence and stalked over to the limp form, dragging him up by the chest plate of his armor. His eyes grew wide and he grabbed at her hand but he was still too weak and disoriented to possibly be a threat to her. His hand was groping around his hip and she smiled toothily.

** **

“I have your weapon, I wouldn’t be expecting it back if I were you.”

** **

The dark blue in his eyes almost mocked her, calling to mind Lotor and Ezor and she pressed her forearm against his throat in response. She knew it was a coincidence but it didn’t soothe the anger… or the hurt.. 

** **

With her other hand she pressed the release of her facial shield, and he sucked in a thready gasp. He was hardly bigger than a Galra youngling, and still he tried to steel himself, a sober expression shuttering over his face, as though he could prepare for her. Like she was some kind of setback he could handle with bravado. Did he consider himself her equal? She chuckled at his attempt to play soldier. 

** **

“Wh-what do you want from me,” the human managed to gasp out as she increased the pressure. She smiled widely, feeling a bit out of control, delight and rage warring chiefly in her mind. A plan etching itself in her mind. Something to take her anger out on in her grasp. 

** **

“Nothing yet. Go back to sleep.” 

** **

And her fist smashed brutally into his temple, completely shattering the helmet and cutting into his face. She dropped him, lifeless, onto the floor and began to pick through the twisted mess of metal and glass looking for a tracking chip. If she couldn’t find it she’d have to destroy the armor entirely but so be it. She was in the mood to break things. 

** **

The pod shuddered as the landing gear came down. 

** **

It was time for action. 

** **

* * *

A system away, the paladins had just gotten into their lions, when Hunk noticed something strange, and jumped onto the comms, his voice anxious. 

** **

“Hold on, Coran is still outside! He’s supposed to be in the Red Lion! Lance, what are you doing?”

** **

It was clear that Coran’s communicator was damaged because there was heavy static, enough to make his response completely unintelligible. He swung around to make hand signals but he was also dodging fire from the last few Galra troops. It would’ve been another funny Coran story to share with Pidge and Lance if it wasn’t so worrying. Battles were always touch and go but...

** **

_ Wait, when was the last time Lance had said something anyway?  _

** **

Pidge groaned in frustration. “There’s no time for questions, Hunk, I’m going in to pick him up.” And Green deftly flew out towards the struggling figure, mouth open to pull him into the cabin. . 

** **

He replied hastily, a strange feeling churning in his stomach. “Got it, Pidge. Lance, buddy, what’s going on? Red giving you trouble?” 

** **

There was a pause and Hunk felt all of the paladins waiting, aching for a reply. Praying, Hunk opened his mouth to try again but Keith beat him to it. He sounded irritated but Hunk knew by now it wasn’t anger but worry that twisted the Black Paladin’s voice like that. 

** **

“Lance, I need a copy now.”

** **

_ Please. Please answer. _

** **

Instead it was Coran’s voice that chimed in, breathless and distorted from the beating he’d taken. “Paladins, we need to spread out, stage a rescue, something! Lance has vanished!”

** **

Shiro cut in, tense and focused. “What do you mean he vanished? He exited with us. Keith was last out! Did anyone see him get hit? Could his comms be down?”

** **

Coran was draped over Pidge’s seat, barely fitting into her video screen and wobbling heavily, but his eyes were as determined as ever. 

** **

“Keith was last out but he quickly got to the front. Lance was behind me, I thought to watch me as I was a little disorientated. When I turned a few dobashes ago he was gone but there was no craft around. I couldn’t communicate. I simply don’t understand it!”

** **

Allura paled on the screen and Hunk has to suck in a long breath as his stomach threatened to vacate. 

** **

_ How could he have missed it? What if Lance had gotten into real trouble? What kind of best friend was he? _

** **

Pidge began typing faster before her eyes widened and her hands stopped abruptly. 

** **

“There was an energy signal in the area. But it’s just gone! I mean it wasn’t there.. then it was… and it’s gone again. I mean it could be anything. Most likely a Galra but there’s no way of knowing who it was or where they went based on the data. I, I — Look, the Red Lion is just floating here, if he’s not there, then where is he? We all left at the same time! ” 

** **

Keith closed his eyes in his video screen and rolled his fingers for a second. Hunk recognized the behavior; Keith was trying to calm himself, trying to be a good leader, searching for any hope. 

** **

Allura spoke up, her voice firm and hopeful, “Pidge, can’t you lock on to his armor? It’s all connected to the ship!”

** **

Pidge’s fingers flew for a moment before she cursed and slammed her fists onto her console. “The signal isn’t coming through. It’s got to be blocked. This isn’t a coincidence. He was taken.”

** **

Hunk began muttering nervously under his breath, “Isn’t it possible it got damaged or something? While we were escaping the ship, or you know, in the fire fight we had in space on our way out?” He could hear his voice grow shrill but he was moments away from having a panic attack and the thought that Lance could just vanish disturbed him. 

** **

Allura grimly shook her head. “It’s impossible, truly. The armor is connected with numerous small contacts. It’d have to be completely destroyed, which we surely would have noticed.” She trailed off at the implications. 

** **

Keith let out his breath, almost frozen. No one said anything. What could they do? 

** **

_ Keith, Shiro, please, say something _ , Hunk begged in his leader in his mind. But the silence grew long and his heart began to jackhammer in his chest as horrible scenarios played out in his mind. His fingers twitched as icy panic began to overwhelm him. 

** **

_ Lance is gone, and we have no way of finding him, and his tracker was intentionally disabled. He, he could be dead already. What if they’ve taken him to another ship? Lance could be lightyears away by now.  _

** **

Finally Shiro spoke up. He had ended up in the Blue Lion and his eyes were closed tightly, as though imagining the outcomes in his head as he spoke. 

** **

“Pidge, can you work on it? Whatever’s blocking it - can you take it down?”

** **

She looked down and Hunk ached to see her lip quivering. 

** **

“Of course I can but if Lance was taken, the person who did it won’t be stupid enough to leave his armor around. It would lead us right to them. I mean, we could always hope they’re as dumb as a bag of rocks but they’ll most likely have destroyed it by now.”

** **

This time it was Allura who spoke, gentle and firm at the same time. “I know you can do it.”

** **

Pidge’s glasses gleamed and she dropped her head to focus on the ever present tablet, while Coran’s hand patted her shoulder. 

** **

Keith spoke up again, “We need to regroup. Let’s find somewhere to lay low.” 

** **

Allura spoke again, “Scans show a planet system close by with an Unilu outpost there that’s known to harbor Galra, troublemakers, and all sorts of space pirates. We’ll want to keep our distance as they will most certainly bring trouble for Voltron. There is also a planet on the opposite side of the system with no sentient life, but a breathable atmosphere and plenty of water. Shall we warp there?”

** **

They all agreed, but Hunk couldn’t help but cringe at the somber atmosphere. Normally Lance would joke about meeting the locals and he or Pidge would tease him about all of his misadventures with pretty aliens before. Instead he and the rest of the group were tense and frustrated.

** **

Voltron leaving together… without Lance... it was wrong. 

** **

It was too soon to lose someone. They had just gotten each other back together and now Lance was missing? Right under their noses?

** **

Yellow rumbled with empathy in his mind, trying to comfort him, sharing his grief. It was grounding to him, enough that Hunk felt encouraged to try to bring the mood up for the others, clearing his throat so his voice wouldn’t shake. 

** **

“Let’s stay positive. Lance is strong, and so are we. I’m sure we’ll find him within the Quintant.”

** **

Coran smiled hopefully, but no one else reacted. Lance was usually the one with the jokes and the unshakeable confidence. He slumped uneasily back into the pilot’s seat, and let out a soft sigh. All he could do was hope, so he chanted fervently in his mind, hoping his thoughts would scatter out into space and somehow, some way, come true. 

** **

_ Please be safe Lance, please be okay.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first multichapter fic and the first fic I've written that as 20,000 words. I was fairly discouraged for the last half of writing this, with job and other stresses, but I'm very glad I stuck it through. Thank you for reading this and I appreciate any feedback.


	2. Act Two - Sleep Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get worse for Lance and Zethrid realizes she is running out of options.

##  ** **

_ Protecting me _

_ Protecting you _

_ Carving away our fingerprints out of our fingertips until they're smooth _

_ Lie awake _

_ I sleep awake _

_ I sleep with one eye on my royal flush _

_ The other on the take _

_ I sleep awake _

** **

“Hnnnng.....”

** **

The room spun and Lance’s head throbbed in alternate rhythms, distorting his senses. It was dark and cold but even a small shift in position made his stomach churn and the fog in his head thicker. He couldn’t say what the last thing he remembered was, only that images swam in and out of his mind’s eye, a struggle, fighting for breath, a burning ship. 

** **

The only thing that felt truly real was the staccato bursts of fire he felt twisting through his shoulders and arms. When he tried to move they would ache until the pressure became unbearable. Anything he tried to do to relieve the pain only worsened it and Lance writhed, trying to rest his weight more evenly, until a prolonged stabbing sensation pulled a scream out of him and he felt a searing pop in his left shoulder.

** **

He pulled his head up, gasping. Sweat and tears ran down his cheeks and he slowly recognized that he was kneeling in a darkened room. His arms were tightly bound together behind him to the floor.

** **

His left arm was pounding in agony but the hand was entirely numb. The plates of his armor were digging in and tingling pain sparked where his circulation was cut off. There was a low whine in the room that he was disturbed to realize was his own.

** **

A movement stole his attention when a leering, fanged face came into view from the shadows. It was the large general leaning against the wall. Lance cursed himself as he groped for her name, hoping to talk things through, calm her down. Some part of him hoped desperately that this wasn’t real, just a nightmare that he could wake up from.

** **

“Justa dream, only a dream,” Lance managed to slur out, as his eyes fluttered. If he just went back to sleep, he’d wake up in Red, he and the team would be heading home, everything would be fine when he woke up. This was just a nightmare and that looming beast wasn’t real.

** **

The pain was real though, a jolting buzz starting from his throat and convulsing his body until another shrill scream ripped out of him.

** **

The Galra flaunted a remote and Lance understood it was somehow responsible for the feeling he had just experienced. But he couldn’t make the connection how or why as his head spun and throbbed magnificently. 

** **

She moved forward, limping a little, and Lance wondered why her eye looked different. Before he could get a clear look, her claws grabbed his face and craned his head up to look at her. His brain was scrambled and his whole body ached. As her swollen and blood-crusted face swung into his space, he panicked and blurted out, “Well you’ve definitely looked better. So this must be a nightmare.”

** **

She ignored him and pressed his claws in sharp enough to break the skin of his jaw. 

** **

“You’re going to follow two rules, paladin. They’re simple. Follow them and we’ll get along fine. Break them, and I’ll kill you.”

** **

This close, the alien had separated into two overlapping images and a thought nagged at Lance that something wasn’t right.

** **

_ Double vision _ , he thought slowly, _ you have a con.. A contusion. You’re contused. Concussed? _

** **

Time seemed to stretch as his mind creaked and rustled for information. What was so familiar about this beastly face? He tried to pull a name, a place, from his memory. 

** **

But his silence seemed to irritate the Galra and she snarled, pulling him towards her with her claws digging into his face and shoulder. As he moved, the pressure grew on his arms as he bonds stretched and his limbs began to pull painfully. Tears seeped out and he groaned loudly.

** **

She sneered at him and shook him repeatedly. “You’re not paying attention very well, paladin. Keep quiet unless I ask you something. And do what I say. Do you understand?”

** **

Lance managed to gasp, “yes, yes, I got it!” 

** **

She tossed him back to the floor before moving to pace the small room..

** **

“I’m not here to play games with you paladin. What I want is simple. Answer my questions and I’ll let you go.”

** **

She stared at him, one of her eyes shining, somehow reflecting even in the dim light. Lance realized the other was swollen shut. Her clothes were singed. Was she injured?

** **

He started to speak, “Zeth-” as her name slowly swam up from his hazy mind. But the buzz started again, crackling pain spreading over him. It was too much all at once and he lost awareness of the room, breathing in staccato bursts as he was overwhelmed by pain... and then nothing at all. 

** **

_ There was a wind in his hair and when he turned his head, Keith was right next to him, smiling and offering him a hand. The late afternoon sun sparkled in his eyes and shined in his hair. Lance’s heart sped up and he knew he must be blushing spectacularly but he placed his hand in the other’s grasp anyway. _

** **

_ “It is so beautiful here,” the other paladin murmured as his thumb stroked against Lance’s knuckles. Lance didn’t know what to say, hundred of words crossing his mind but none came close to what he felt in his heart. Instead he ducked his head to look at the waving grasses and lazy bumblebees tumbling dizzy through the air. The smell of sea air comforted him and he took in deep lungfuls of it. They walked along the flats, the sea to their left and the marshes to their right. The sun was turning the sky deep orange and red as it neared the horizon, reflecting off of the clouds like flames. _

** **

_ He’d been here, a long time ago, he was sure of it. There had been a field trip to study life in marshes and the long, reedy grasses stuck out of the salty marsh in clumps. He remembered all the kids pairing off to find crabs and jellies in the shallow pools, an impromptu scavenger hunt, and the way his heart had cracked in two when Jenny smiled sweetly at him and walked off with another guy. That crack was all filled in now as they walked and the tide began to soak into their pants. _

** **

_ He gulped and squeezed Keith’s hand lightly. He wanted to ask why they were there, if they could join the others, find feathers and smooth stones. He wanted to stay here, together, and hold hands while all the other Garrison students watched in awe that Lance had found a perfect match after all. Someone who wanted to be right next to him no matter what. _

** **

_ Keith turned then, a smirk snaking across his face, leaning forward to catch Lance’s attention when the wind grew harsher and a rogue wave of frigid water crashed into Lance, making him cough and gasp. _

** **

_ The grip on his hand fell away, Keith was gone, and Lance was surrounded by a howling maelstrom, alone, his heart racing as the eye of the storm bore down on him. _

** **

“Drink, paladin, or I’ll force it down your throat.”

** **

That gruff, cold voice rang around him as Lance blinked open his eyes. The room was almost completely dark, except for a small light near the Galra and her tablet screen laying next to her. His arms throbbed behind him, no longer tied down, but still bound tight enough that testing them for any slack had him jolting in agony. His shoulder hurt so badly he carefully rested against his right arm. Every movement caused him to shudder and sway.

** **

His hair and face was cold and dripping wet… why were they wet? There was a bed next to him but it was too far to reach and he knew he shouldn’t move too much... His mind was slow to process everything and he realized there was a metal container being pressed to his mouth, cold steel scraping against his lips and teeth.. 

** **

The woman… Zethrid… was only a foot away, close enough to feel her breath and feel crowded in this space. Her grimace sent a thread of anger and fear lancing through him and scraps of memories swirled around him. 

** **

_ Taken. Captured. Interrogated. Alone. _

** **

She tipped the container forward just as he gasped, pouring something liquid down his throat. But Lance wasn’t ready so he choked and spluttered against her as she continued to water him cruelly. He finally swallowed some of the liquid, even as his throat burned and he fought against the trapped air. He felt like an animal fighting medicine, subhuman as she looked at him blankly.

** **

_ What if that was poison? _

** **

_ Or a truth serum? _

** **

_ I didn’t even fight back! _

** **

_ Where’s my bayard? _

** **

“I’m beginning to realize you really are stupid. Here I am offering you kindness and you won’t even respect my efforts. Last chance: finish the hydration pack without making a mess or it’ll be the last you get while you’re here with me.” 

** **

Lance struggled to catch his breath as he coughed out the last of the droplets choking him. He needed water. His headache told him that much. Opening his mouth to answer, however, made him realize he had something tight wrapped around his throat. 

** **

_ Shock collar. Taser. _

** **

The memory of lancing, fiery pain raced through his mind and he shuddered before nodding. Zethrid lifted the container again and he gulped it all down, chasing every droplet with his head tilted back despite the throb in his shoulder and back muscles. 

** **

“Good paladin. It seems you _ can _learn.” 

** **

Lance burned with embarrassment and anger but bit back the ugly retort that itched in his mouth. 

** **

“Thanks,” he said, his mouth puckered and eyes glaring at the floor.

** **

Zethrid moved across the room to sit in a chair facing him and Lance felt his mind sharpen a bit as he woke up more. It was dark but he could see the outline of a door behind the Galra. Next to him was a bed and on his other side was some storage unit… almost like..

** **

_ No way… _

** **

_ HIs mind raced along trying to see what was on the floor, where the door was, and figure out what to do. At least he’d have to keep Zethrid talking so he could think of a better plan than ‘play dumb.’ _

** **

Lance gaped at her, ears flushing pink, “Did you actually bring me to your room? I mean, I knew I was irresistible but we should get to know each other first-” 

** **

His last word choked off and his body clenched with tremors as his shock collar activated. His jaw ground shut and he couldn’t breathe, his lungs were empty, he was dying… and then it stopped just as abruptly and Lance crumpled bonelessly against the wall, sipping the air in shallow pants. The muscles around his mouth spasmed for a moment and his eyes were locked onto Zethrid. 

** **

She was angry, her claws digging scratches into the remote in her hand. 

** **

“You don’t get it, you idiot. The only thing stopping me from killing you is the chance that you may know something useful to me. I have limited patience. Don’t make me warn you again.” 

** **

Lance nodded, trembling a little as he did so. It was almost as if he couldn’t stop nodding, his whole body was shaking so much... and when he managed to stop, something else was off. 

** **

The wall behind Zethrid had behind to shift and sway, almost like it was made of cloth and there was a breeze rippling it. His eye was twitching in rhythm with the swaying of the wall. And suddenly the sounds of her voice, the movements of his body, everything seemed to slow down like a record player scratching and distorting the music. 

** **

_ Why’s my heart… doing that… _

** **

_ Something’s wrong. I have a...a head problem. A seizure… _

_I _ _need a pod, Coran! Coran! _

** **

There was a low, deep rumbling echoing around him and he looked up to see Zethrid stalking towards him again, her head growing bigger and bigger until it filled the room.

** **

_ Did I say that out loud? Stop it! _

** **

He whispered out, unable to look away from her golden eye, even as he shook, “Please, no, please please, there’s something, something is wrong with me! My head, my head’s not right.”

** **

He couldn’t see the claws that grasped his face and turned it back and forth. All he could see was the painfully swollen eye on Zethrid’s enormous face and he shuddered, reeling with nausea. 

** **

All he could feel was the harsh metal floor melting around him. He tried to ground himself but a hum in his mind kept breaking his focus and then he was floating and everything spun in dark circles around him. 

** **

Lance was weightless and his vision flickered with grey spots until it gave out completely and he was somewhere else. He heard a familiar gravelly voice, calling him back to himself. He almost cried with relief. He reached forward with his mind, trying to use the feeling he got when he formed Voltron.

** **

“Don’t give up, Lance! You’re a paladin of Voltron! You’re tough. You can do this. Hold on!” 

** **

_ Keith! Keith is here, is he rescuing me? _

** **

Lance tried to spin around, but there was no light and he panicked, looking around in darkness, reaching his hands out for anything, for something to hold onto. Keith’s voice disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared, blending in with the black soundless velvet around him. 

** **

“Keith, where are you?”

** **

His voice was swallowed up just as fast and Keith didn’t reply. Lance shook his head, trembling, suddenly cold. 

** **

_ What was going on? _

** **

_ Where am I? And Zethrid? _

** **

_ Where did Keith go? _

** **

“Please don’t leave me, Keith! Something’s wrong! I’m, I’m going to die here!”

** **

Finally he heard Keith again; His voice sounded warm and molten, but it was Keith all the same, but further, like he was walking away, distant

** **

“Hold on Lance! You’re not alone!”

** **

“Okay,” he croaked out, tears spilling, “I’ll hold on! I’ll hold on for you!” 

** **

So he held on, replaying that voice over and over in his head, huddling into a ball until the world made sense again. He ignored the tilting world, the rumbling noises, his own anxiety, the way time seemed to slither and slide until he was sure he’d been trapped in this room for phoebs..

** **

It was all he could do to think of Keith’s voice, and his own desperate promise to his leader. 

** **

* * *

** **

Zethrid knelt before the human, frustration pulling a low growl from her. The paladin was injured, eyes strange and blown out, completely unresponsive to any stimuli. He stared at the floor, muttering strange phrases and words, but no matter how she shook or shocked him, nothing woke him from his stupor. 

** **

Meaning he was worthless to her. 

** **

All her plans, her hopes, relied on her breaking this pathetic Terran, on forcing him to tell the truth. Without that… she had nothing. She punched the wall, leaving a solid dent in it.

** **

_ You’re alone. _

** **

She forced the thought and cast her mind around for a new plan.

Should just kill him and be done with it. He’d be so easy, so satisfying, to tear apart, tall without bulk, and incapacitated like this... There would be nothing to it. One hand around his neck. Or she could make him face her, try to survive as she ripped into him. She watched him, itching to pummel that whimpering face. Thinking of his foolish chatter and familiarity burned in her. But a thought occurred to her as he quivered on the floor. 

** **

_ Worthless to me, yes, but to Voltron… isn’t he essential? _

** **

Perhaps Voltron would value him, pathetic as he was. If they did, she’d get her prince and her family back. If they didn’t… then they would learn what it was like to lose someone. 

** **

Zethrid pulled out her tablet and started recording a video. 

** **

* * *

** **

Pidge was sitting in her lion when an unidentified signal came in. They’d been talking for a long while on the planet, arguing about what to do next and where to go before they’d finally agreed to take a rest in the lions. They were recharging the lions on a small dusty planet while she worked.

** **

Except she couldn’t rest, knowing Lance was gone with so few clues as to where he’d been taken. Her anger was a steady fuel, keeping her awake and typing furiously into her computer. They had been wildly unprepared for Lance’s disappearance, despite everything they had been through. 

** **

It had been the perfect setting, with the battle raging around them and an exploding ship to get away from, and the chaos meant there were almost no clues except for a brief energy signature that had appeared briefly on the Altean radar. But Pidge was stubborn, she wouldn’t give up just because it was hard. After she had been working for at least a varga, a transmission came through.

** **

Seeing the blinking notification was like a cold glass of water to her face. “Guys! Guys! There’s a video transmission! Wake up!”

** **

Apparently no one had been sleeping because Hunk began to talk right away, alert and ready. 

** **

“It looks like an open broadcast, can you get the source?”

** **

“Negative. It’s been blocked. I can trace it but to a general area only.” Her hackles rose as she attempted to locate the source, only to find it bouncing between different ships. This wasn’t an emergency beacon or a good-will hailing from another ship.

** **

Hunk frowned, his normally sweet face looked completely different to her, lined with worry and anger. “Do you think it’s been triangulated?”

** **

Pidge nodded, her mind and her fingers both racing. “Most likely, but give me a minute.”

** **

Allura hummed, her voice tight. “Good work, Pidge. And play the broadcast please.” 

** **

She started streaming it to the Lions. It began with a view of the floor of a dark room before a bright light lit up the floor and swung up abruptly to the wall — and there was Lance, skin wan in the glaring light. He was sweating, leaning against a wall in only his black suit, all his armor stripped away. His body was racked with spasms and his arms bound behind him. His eyes were screwed tightly shut and face covered with bruises and dried blood. Lance was totally out of it, whispering words too faint to be picked up. 

** **

Shiro punched the console and Allura gasped. Coran swore in some unknown language. Keith shouted. Hunk let out a soft cry, voice shaking. Pidge felt clinical and detached as she watched Lance struggle in his bonds. He was somewhere far away from them, hurt and confused. He was some Galra’s sick idea of leverage and if she didn’t find the source….

** **

Her body felt numb as she read the Galran script scrolling across the video. 

** **

<RELEASE LOTOR. IGNORE THIS MESSAGE AND THE PALADIN DIES IN TWO QUINTANTS.>

** **

* * *

** **

_ Keith opened his eyes and quickly tensed, clenching his fists and feeling a muscle begin to jump in his jaw. He’d never been here before, he was sure of it. _

** **

_ The stone wasn’t grey or brown, but almost black. The walls of the cave seemed to move in slow rhythm. He stretched his hand out but the wall shuddered and small concentric circles began to ripple out before his fingers could touch it. A dark red glow twisted around him without lighting the cave. There was something familiar about the light and how he was drawn to it. Despite the strange surroundings, Keith felt peaceful. _

** **

_ It seemed like a dream: his uncanny awareness, the complete silence, as though noise didn’t exist, the heavy feeling of darkness. The only light around seemed to emanate softly from his own skin. Something circled in the back of his mind, something missing, he couldn’t think of it and it itched at him. _

** **

_And then, in the stillness, a sound _— _tight breaths and panicked gasps. Keith frowned and began to walk along the wall, jogging a little, squinting his eyes to get any glimpse of the other person._

** **

_ “Hello? Who’s there?” _

** **

_ But no one replied. The only sound he could hear was the echoes of uneven breathing. He moved quickly ahead, groping against the wall, feeling a pull inside of him. All of the strangeness of the dream, the surreality of it didn’t matter anymore. He had to find that person, help them. And as he raced towards the noises, a voice gasped, “...Keith?” _

** **

_ Keith was all too familiar with fear but the surge of cold panic never got easier to deal with. _

** **

_ Lance was here _ ** _— _ ** _ but _ _ his voice was so unfamiliar, thin, almost crippled with pain. _

** **

_ He grit his teeth and started to run, begging silently that his path would lead him to Lance; that his friend would make it through whatever it was that was hurting him. He heard Lance groan out and felt a bead of sweat crawl down his face. Still there was no light, no room, nothing anywhere. Lance’s voice echoed and swam around him. _

** **

_ “Don’t give up Lance, you’re tough. You can do this. Hold on!” _

** **

_ A gasp resounded and Lance paused before whispering, “Keith, where are you?” _

** **

_ For a moment his heart lightened, Lance’s voice had the barest hope in it, but it was better than the abject pain he’d been in before. _

** **

_ “Please don’t leave me Keith! Something’s wrong, I’m, I’m going to die here!” _

** **

_ Keith stopped short. It was useless, the wall didn’t move or open or change. There was no light except for his own red glow emanating from somewhere. He was helpless and Lance was... Could be dying right now. _

** **

_ Something cracked inside him. Lance’s blue eyes flashed in his mind, the look on his face when he carried him all that time ago. The two of them had been the first team he’d ever been proud of. _

** **

** **

** **

_ No. Lance wasn’t going to die. That wasn’t going to happen. Lance was brave and strong. Something was happening to him and Keith had to stop it. Lance just needed to _ ** _—_ **

** **

_ Keith heard a muffled sob. _

** **

_ He growled under his breath, tears of anger springing to his eyes. _

** **

_ “Hold on Lance! You’re not alone!” _

** **

_ There was a long pause that caused a chill to run up Keith’s spine. _

** **

_ Lance called out, voice weak and tremulous. _

** **

_ “Okay, Keith. I’ll hold on… I’ll hold on for you.” _


	3. Act Three - Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zethrid can't or won't face the truth and Lance suffers the consequences. Lance is no longer able to tell fantasy from reality and struggles to hold on. Meanwhile Keith is finding out that leadership is a lot harder than it looks.

_ Trouble on my left, trouble on my right, _

_ I’ve been facing trouble almost all my life, _

_ My sweet love won’t you pull me through? _

_ Everywhere I look I catch a glimpse of you. _

** **

Keith tore open his eyes and panted, grounding himself by looking around Black. He knew it had been a dream, as nothing felt quite right. All the physics had been off and his walking had led him nowhere. 

** **

But still… Lance had been right there. As though he could have wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled him to safety. Lance’s voice, his breaths, had sounded like he was in the next room. 

** **

Anyone else might have brushed it off as just a dream. Something his mind had put together to cope with the stress and anxiety of a lost teammate. But looking at Shiro walking and talking among them when he’d been a literal shadow of himself, held together by the Black Lion, calling out to him without a voice and only the barest of hopes that Keith would figure it out...

** **

Keith was a man of faith. He had seen and felt things that were unexplainable. Lance had heard him, and he had somehow, miraculously heard Lance when he needed him the most. If Lance was going to fight his hardest to stay alive, then Keith needed to do everything he could to find him. 

** **

He sat up and rolled his shoulders and neck, working out the tension. The old Keith might have lashed out in anger, or hidden away, training as though he could physically fight these battles alone. But now Keith has a team to lead. He made his way to the cockpit, and sat, letting Black resonate in his mind, feeling Red’s anger and the hole the other lions felt in Lance’s absence. He tried to share his confidence through the Lion bond. 

** **

“Team, check in. Who’s awake?”

** **

It wasn’t surprising when everyone spoke in turn, tense and ready. He’d barely napped for a few varga himself, and what sleep he’d gotten had been restless due to that lingering dream. 

** **

Pidge spoke up first. “I’m positive we are dealing with Zethrid or Ezor, because whoever took Lance knew to destroy the Altean tracking beacons in his armor. This is someone who wants Lotor, or at least information about Lotor and to hurt Lance… and us. This isn’t random, it’s personal. And considering the state of their fleet when Lance was taken, they likely had to use an escape pod. I’m nearly finished analyzing this system’s planets, stations, and hubs to determine which would be the most economical to get to. We can split up and search from there.” 

** **

Keith rolled his fingers together, brow knit. Even though she was a ball of energy, she sounded exhausted. They’d had no choice but to try and sleep while Pidge did her research given the intensity of the dogfight they’d just escaped and the vargas they’d logged searching through debris. He could feel exhaustion swimming around his eyes and fogging his mind. 

** **

He could almost hear Lance’s anxious high voice, too, and used that to force himself awake. 

** **

“Great,” Hunk burst out, all nerves and impatience. “How long til you’re done? Because we need to be moving, like, yesterday.”

** **

Pidge rolled her eyes, her face lined with exhaustion. “Hey, I’m doing the best I can Hunk, triangulation is tricky and it’s hard to say when it will be finished! If you want to head off to some random system, be my guest!”

** **

Hunk cringed, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it, it’s just… I can’t..”

** **

“It’s okay, team,” Shiro cut in. “We’re going to find Lance, but we’re not going to rush in, all right? Pidge, you must have some idea about which sectors we’ll be going to? Can we start moving in those directions and you can send us updated coordinates later?”

** **

“That’s not necessary,” a voice calmly interjected. 

** **

A voice they all recognized. 

** **

Pidge growled, as their video screens accepted an incoming transmission that revealed the fourth general, Acxa. “This is a secured line! How did you get through?”

** **

The general retained her demeanor but Keith noticed a frustrated look in her eyes. “We had access not that long ago. But now’s not the time to argue. Zethrid has your paladin and from what I’ve heard she’s behaving erratically. If you want to save his life, you’ll come with me.” 

** **

There was a moment of absolute silence when all the team processed this new information and tried to catch each other’s eyes, waiting for someone to respond first. 

** **

Allura spoke up, her voice cold and eyes heavy with distrust. “How do you know she took him? Or where she is?”

** **

Acxa looked to the side, conflict written in her eyes. 

** **

“Zethrid.. the whole team.. we were a family. We trained together… had the same goals. I know where she’d go. And I know what she wants… but you can’t give it to her, and she will take it out on the Blue Paladin. He will die if we don’t stop her. There’s no time to give you the details I know. We have to act now.”

** **

“Thank you for coming to help us, Miss,” Coran replied, voice warbling through his injuries. “This can’t be easy for you.”

** **

Something in his warm gaze and the way Acxa seemed to be flustered by his kindness shifted the mood. Some stone was dislodged. 

** **

Keith paused for a moment, feeling harmony flowing through the Voltron bond. Black whispered in the back of his mind, a warm breeze bolstering his surety. 

** **

“Send us the coordinates, then,” he answered. “You can tell us the whole story on the way.”

** **

_ We’re coming Lance.  _

** **

* * *

** **

Zethrid jerked awake from her position lying against the wall. Her eye throbbed, and in her fatigue she moved to rub it, only to hiss at the excruciating pain. 

** **

For a moment, in her dreams, she had been with Ezor, warm hands caressing her fur, and soft, playful words breathed across her face. There was no pressing issue, no battle to fight, and knowing they had all the time in the world to themselves made it all the sweeter to spend it together, doing nothing. 

** **

The sweet reality fading away, the shadow of the missing body that had been so sweetly curled around her, was enough for a wild anger to come flooding in. She pounded her fist into the floor, a howl ready to break loose when she heard a soft moan and opened her eyes all the way. 

** **

The human lay against the opposite wall, trembling, eyes shut and arms still bound. If she didn’t remove the bindings soon, he’d likely face permanent damage, but… that wasn’t her problem. Just looking at his stupid, soft face and his fragile body made her throat burn. 

** **

_ He’s likely brain dead anyway, this is a favor to that pathetic team Voltron.  _

** **

It was dark and cold in the rented room, but she had no interest in changing anything. They had delivered food and fluids as requested and she’d had a short meal but everything was tasteless. She’d only slept for two vargas but it could have been quintants, she was so isolated from the outside world in this room. 

** **

She’d sent countless messages to Ezor’s various lines and devices to no avail. Ezor was strong, she’d survived without a doubt. But why wasn’t she responding? 

** **

Zethrid had made it clear just how lucky their position was with an injured paladin as bait. This was the perfect moment to reel Voltron in, to get their prince back. But there was only silence and her tablet remained quiet. As the time passed with no response from her… 

** **

_ ...partner? What are we now?  _

** **

The lack of response caused her stomach to lurch with grief and loneliness. Her claws twitched and tapped at the floor and for a moment she felt the walls of the room closing around her. She cast her thoughts around to anything else that didn’t burn like these ones did.

** **

Voltron hadn’t responded to the message either. She could wait until her deadline passed and kill the paladin as promised, or she could motivate them to respond. 

** **

Only one of those options satisfied her. 

** **

Weren’t there whispers about the bond between the Voltron paladins? Most of the universe gossiped about the paladins themselves, their odd and handsome appearance, their personalities. But Zethrid remembered a conversation that Lotor and Allura had once, discussing what the bond entailed, that each member had a place in Voltron and that even the absence of just one burned like the pain of a phantom limb… Well if they wouldn’t respond to her message... then maybe she should see what they would respond to. 

** **

She stood, with a hydration pouch in hand, and kneeled over the unconscious human. It must have been several varga since he’d last anything to drink. The ethical thing to do would be to offer him something. She uncapped the pouch, shoved it into his mouth, and tilted his head back, smirking as he spluttered and choked against it.

** **

The paladin’s eyes cracked open, wide and panicked, catching hers, and pleading as they began to tear up. His face turned rapidly back and forth against her heavy claws. She couldn’t help but smile as she watched this supposed brave warrior squirm on the floor.

** **

“There, paladin, doesn’t that feel good? You must have been so thirsty,” she chuckled as he bucked violently in her grasp before slowly submitting and trying to drink to stop himself from choking. She didn’t move until the pouch was empty and he continued to cough and shake, eyes fluttering before she slapped his face a little. 

** **

“Wake up, Paladin, it’s time we get to know each other.” 

** **

He forced his eyes open, clearing his throat and coughing, and she was pleased to see that he seemed more alert, eyes angry even as he struggled to regain his breath. 

** **

She turned a small light on and aimed it at him, so he blinked against the light then Zethrid dropped down against the opposite wall, smiling at the human. 

** **

“You must be hungry. Answer some questions for me and I’ll give you something to eat,  _ Loverboy _ .”

** **

He huffed at that, eyes glaring at her. 

** **

“That’s all I know you as. You’re not the leader or the princess or the halfbreed. What should I call you then?”

** **

The human looked down at the floor, shifting against the wall so his shoulder wasn’t bearing weight against it. His mouth was a thin line. 

** **

“Oh you don’t want to talk? You must be uncomfortable. Let me help.”

** **

She reached a long arm to tap a button on the energy cuffs on his ankles, which snapped together and tethered themselves to the floor. 

** **

Kneeling over the human, she reached behind him to disengage the tethers binding his wrists, noticing the way he flinched away from her. A moan escaped him as he moved. 

** **

“Scared?” She growled lowly, flashing her teeth. The human backed away as he hissed and slowly moved his arms around to the front. One was oddly angled and limp so he reached with his other arm to cradle it, tears tracking down his face. Zethrid guessed it might be dislocated. All the better for her. 

** **

She sat back again and toyed with a food tray that had been delivered, eating a few berries off of it. The paladin was quiet but she could hear his stomach rumbling with hunger. 

** **

“You should be scared. I’ve killed hundreds of beings, all of them stronger than you. I could’ve killed you in tics when I first grabbed you. Human necks are not well constructed, are they?”

** **

The human shivered at that, eyes wide before scowling and hunching in on himself. He looked as though he wanted to reply but Zethrid made a point to use her fangs when she ate a strip of meat and he blanched. 

** **

_ Weak. _

** **

She chewed slowly, eyes unblinking and focused on the human who wouldn’t meet her gaze. She wanted him to squeal and scream as she punished him for things he had taken from her. She wanted him to cry, wanted those eyes begging her for mercy **_—_** but she needed information and she couldn’t stand any more silence. 

** **

“You’re going to want to be polite, Paladin. It’s just you and me here and I’ve been so kind to you. Answer my questions like a good Terran. If you keep quiet, you’ll have other things to worry about besides your shoulder. Now… what’s your name?”

** **

The paladin trembled and slowly looked up, an ugly look on his face as he appeared to fight with himself on what to do. His eyes moved tellingly to his feet and the door before he let out a breath. 

** **

_ Are all humans this easy to read?  _

** **

He let a small smirk cross his face, but it was obvious he was badly unnerved. 

** **

“The name’s Lance.” 

** **

_ Well then. He’s going to play the game.  _

** **

Zethrid tossed a strip of dried meat at him, the one she’d been tearing pieces from for herself. “Good Lance. That is universal hard tack. The only lifeforms that can’t consume it are slimes, which you don’t appear to be. Enjoy.”

** **

The human, Lance, turned skeptical eyes on the brown flesh before looking back at her with a raised brow. He shook his head slightly and replied, “I’m good thanks, I may not be a slime but I might turn into one if I eat whatever the heck that is.”

** **

Zethrid let her smile drop.

** **

“That wasn’t a request, Lance. Do you need me to force it down your throat?”

** **

He shook his head, body pushing away from her almost involuntarily. Using his good arm, he reached out to grab at the food and shakily lifted it to his nose, smelling it and reaching out a small pink tongue to taste it. He was wary of the offering. 

** **

He pulled a face, turning his frustrated blue eyes to her. Those eyes were all too familiar; for a moment, she felt dizzy at the sight. 

** **

“Please, I don’t — ” 

** **

Zethrid barked out in anger and felt some satisfaction when the paladin flinched back, seemingly stunned. 

** **

He stuffed the meat in his mouth, gagging. It wasn’t a kind gesture, hardtack was dry and chewy, hardly edible unless you were drinking something with it. Still he forced it down quickly and waved his hand around. 

** **

“There see, I did it, ‘s gone.” He slurred a little, as he swallowed. 

** **

The display was pathetic, nothing worry of a Paladin of Voltron. Zethrid thought of all the times she and the others had suffered pain and injury, Lotor’s plans, and her own, thwarted because of him and his companions. She scoffed at this buffoon, this weak link.

** **

“That’s right little paladin. Do just what I say. You’re so pathetic, you wouldn’t last long if I wanted to hurt you. Not much more than a trained Yupper, aren’t you?”

** **

She could see her barbed words landing. The human was too young to hide his feelings well. His cheeks and ears turned red, in what must be some kind of Terran defensive response? He attempted a brave face and raised his head, eyes darkened with anger. 

** **

Instead of looking at her, though, his eyes veered right and mouth dropped open in shock. She looked to her left only to see the dark corner of the room and an empty chair. 

** **

“Wh- what?” He gasped out and he attempted to get to his knees but his arms were too weak to hold him up and he crashed back to the floor, shouting in pain as he fell back against the arm he’d been cradling. Still he turned his head to the corner and yelled out, as though addressing someone.

** **

“What are you doing  _ here _ ??”

** **

Zethrid wasn’t really in the mood to entertain a fool. It was clear to her that he was trying to pull of some stupid trick to distract her and attempt an escape. She reached to her tablet and tapped on it twice, causing an electrical jolt to shock him through his collar. 

** **

Lance screamed at that, head thrown back, eyes rolling until the shock ended and he took great heaving breaths. He looked back to the right, tears streaming down his face before catching Zethrid’s gaze. His eyes were dilated now, she noted, and her ear twitched in agitation. 

** **

“What’s wrong with you? Are you injured or merely stupid? You think can try to fool me?” 

** **

“Please!” He spoke over her, eyes drawn to the empty corner like a moth to the flame. “Please ask me whatever, hit me, hurt me, do whatever you want. Just don’t touch him!” 

** **

Zethrid froze for a moment in anger and disappointment. He’d been lucid for so long, and now he was speaking gibberish. Either he was truly disabled or she was trying to trick her and make her look the fool. Whatever the cause, he’d wasted her time and her effort.

** **

Her finger toyed with the tablet as she caught his gaze. 

** **

Lance panted and shook, before his blue eyes moved back, looking to the side, fearful, not even paying attention to her. As if she weren’t even in the room.

** **

She had wanted to keep up the rapport, lure him in as she’d been trained to do. It was easier to break enemies when they were off their guard and unable to predict what would happen. 

** **

“Paladin, stop this nonsense.”

** **

But the human didn’t move or even blink. It was almost as if he weren’t  _ there  _ anymore. As if she were alone and he was somewhere else entirely. That was unacceptable. She was a warrior to be feared, and worse, she had nothing to lose by taking his worthless life. So she shocked him again… and again… and again. 

** **

Even if his screams weren’t the answers she had been seeking, at least it wasn’t quiet any longer. 

** **

* * *

** **

Lance fought against the overwhelming pain, holding his breath, and trying to relax his muscles between the moments of agony. He slumped against the wall and fought off the nausea and vertigo that threatened to pull him from consciousness. 

** **

He tried desperately to stay focused on Keith, who somehow had escaped Zethrid’s attention. He just sat there in the shadowed room, his eyes so bright and jacket so red, somber and still, eyes steady on him. But that wasn’t Keith… Keith would never sit still and watch him be hurt. 

** **

The rational part of Lance’s mind was steadily losing ground against the visual assault on his senses. He cast his thoughts about so he could wake up, so he could figure out what was happening to him. Every time he looked at Keith, it was harder to focus on his train of thought so he shut his eyes. 

** **

The last time he’d drunk something, the effect on him was bizarre. His first thought was that he’d been suffering from a concussion but when he remembered the way the wall had just  _ melted _ and his senses had totally abandoned him… It wasn’t like the dream he’d had, that had to have been real. He’d felt Keith through the bond, felt him in his heart. 

** **

And when he’d woken up, his head hurt but he didn’t have any other symptoms. No nausea or difficulty thinking. It was almost like he was being drugged. His eyes shot open and he tried to catch Zethrid’s eye. 

** **

“The water...the food.. It’s drugged. I’m drugging, you’re drugging me!”

** **

But it became scrambled as he spoke and the world spun and swayed and small objects became large and his head was expanding and then he saw Keith again and he forgot what he was trying to say.

** **

Lance couldn’t fight the tears that broke free and blurred his vision. Keith’s gaze was so gentle. The other paladin didn’t say anything. Didn’t move. Didn’t attack Zethrid to stop her. He just sat there, a port in a storm, and Lance drank him in, fortifying himself with the fire in the other man. 

** **

If Keith could just stay there, nothing she could do could hurt him. He’d be okay. 

** **

He didn’t and couldn’t question it. Why the other said nothing or did nothing. Nothing made sense, after all, in this dark and bizarre room, where walls moved and Zethrid’s face grew bigger until she was taking up the whole space, her snarls booming in his ears like thunder, and underneath it all his rabbit heart thumped away, faster and faster until it was sure to beat out of his chest.

** **

He could only suck in little breaths as his body twitched with electricity or trembled from the aftershocks. He could barely find the air to speak, between the jolts that locked his muscles and the gasps of pain as his bad arm twitched, but he tried his best to rasp out. 

** **

“Please! Please ask me whatever, hit me, hurt me, do whatever you want, just don’t touch him!” 

** **

He babbled between the shocks until his breath left him and his eyes rolled up in his head even as he tried to hold Keith’s soft gaze as long as he could. 

** **

_ Please don’t hurt him.  _

** **

_ Don’t you touch him.  _

** **

_ Just focus on me.  _

** **

* * *

** **

“Be quiet,” Zethrid hissed as she pounded down on her tablet, sending a brief but strong shock through him. The human had been shifting to sit up and whine in his throat as his body seized up.

** **

A full quintant had passed, yet no one had contacted the private line she’d set up. 

** **

Voltron was ignoring her. 

** **

She was alone and the idea that she had no way forward unnerved her. Instead she focused on provoking the Paladin, surely they couldn’t ignore the bond, or their teammate’s pain… or would they simply leave him to his fate?

** **

_ Just like Ezor left me… _

** **

Zethrid nearly broke at the thought, the unwanted realization that she was alone. She wished she could feel nothing but cold rage at her partner for abandoning her. But she couldn’t. All she felt was an emptiness, a pain in her chest. It was even worse to know that she had been the one to walk away first, but it was a line of thought she couldn’t face. She turned her attention to the paladin, something to keep her mind from going to dark places, something to keep her busy.

** **

He had fallen onto his side, sweating and grunting as he twitched, his voice a thready gasp as he pleaded with her for vargas to leave someone alone. It was a name she didn’t recognize, repeated over and over. The Terran’s eyes frantically darted between her and the empty corner as if someone were there.

** **

“Leave Keith alone! Don’t you touch him, just, please, let him be! Don’t hurt him, he’s just standing there, he’s done nothing wrong.” He rambled, in between huffed breaths, tears, and drool leaking onto the floor. 

** **

_ Pathetic.  _

** **

_ How can he be a legendary paladin? A member of Voltron? _

** **

_ Voltron has taken everything from me, my family, my Prince, my fleet….  _

** **

_ Even Ezor... _

** **

The human wouldn’t stop talking nonsense, wouldn’t address her. His team wasn’t willing to negotiate with her. Her plan, as roughshod as it had been, was falling apart and it was infuriating. What use did she have for a broken paladin? Even his team found him worthless.

** **

She slammed the tablet down on the floor next to her, then stood, snarling at him. 

** **

He tried to follow her up, but fell back, his legs still tethered to the floor. She bent to jab at the tether mechanism which sprang apart and freed him. He didn’t move but lay on the floor, trembling, his face paler than before. It was possible that he couldn’t get up, but that didn’t matter to her. She needed a punching bag. 

** **

“Stand up,” she spat, kicking at his lower legs. “Try and fight me, show me how you of all people could possibly be a paladin of Voltron.”

** **

The human struggled to his knees but fell again.

** **

“I can’t, I can’t get up. My body — ”

** **

Zethrid didn’t care, pulling him up by his hair, his feet scrambling to find the floor.

** **

“Can’t you fight without a weapon? I could give it back to you, but it wouldn’t matter much. I could destroy you with one hand behind my back.” It felt good to mock, to provoke him, to listen to his squeals. Especially when he was so vulnerable. 

** **

_ This is what Lotor knew. Voltron is weak. _

** **

She met his gaze, his eyes were wide, but still he tried to school his expression, put on a brave face, claw with his good arm against her claws. But it was useless. She pushed him to the wall and noticed her whole hand could wrap neatly around his neck.

** **

“Tell me where Lotor is. No more games!”

** **

Lance struggled in her grasp, pushing himself up on his toes, trying to unblock his airway. 

** **

“We-ghhh… already…..sai-ghhhh, we dongghh know-”

** **

_ More lies, more manipulation. Is he trying to make me look like a fool? _

** **

“That’s not an answer. Tell me where he is!” 

** **

He gingerly shook his head, blue eyes boring into her, full of pity. It unnerved her and she retaliated by slamming his body back into the wall again. 

** **

“Don’t you understand what’s going to happen! I’ve hailed your team. They have less than a quintant to meet my demands. If they don’t, I’m going to kill you, and the last thing you’ll see is my face.”

** **

The paladin wheezed in her grasp, eyes fluttering as he lost consciousness. She moved her wrist down before he could completely black out. Her claws dug into his skin around the neck, so thin and delicate, her face flushed with disgust at the weakness, the shamefulness of these humans. 

** **

_ And yet they break so easily... _

** **

“My.. team…. They’ll never.. never stop.” He gasped out, taking huge lungfuls of air in between words, “They won’t abandon me…. Wh-where is… where’s your team, huh? You’re alone… and you’re gonna lose.”

** **

Zethrid’s body felt hot and then intensely cold, as she faced a truth she had avoided. She growled at him, refusing to listen. The paladin twitched and struggled against the choke hold, straining his neck in different ways, crying out in anguish, water trailing down his face in streams. He kept trying to turn his head back to that corner. 

** **

Even when she used her other hand to pull his hair back so he was well-pinned, his eyes, distraught and unseeing, trailed to her right again and again. His voice grew loud and desperate, using every ounce of breath to shout, to cry out to a ghost who wasn’t present. 

** **

She knew that sound. 

** **

He was talking to someone he loved. 

** **

“Please! You said you’d come for me! Why are you sitting there, doing nothing, just watching! Please, please help me!”

** **

His blue eyes were wide and turning red, and all she saw was Ezor and everything she’d lost. 

** **

Her team was broken. Narti had been a spy for the Galra witch, and was dead now anyway.

** **

_ By Lotor’s hand… _

** **

Acxa betrayed them for the enemy. Lotor was missing, and if what Voltron had been saying was true… but it couldn’t be true… he was too smart, too strong to have... And Ezor had chosen to leave, to walk away from everything they had built together. 

** **

And this insolent, worthless whelp… this weakling who mocked her and ignored her, he represented the one thing that had destroyed everything that mattered to her. 

** **

Her breath stuttered.

** **

Zethrid shouted and reared back, smashing her fist down once, twice. He dropped him to the floor as she stormed out of the room, her skin racing with nerves. 

** **

_ Everything has fallen apart...and there’s no one who can help me..  _

** **

_ I’m alone. Just like the paladin.  _

** **

Her heart raced as she realized just what that meant.

** **

Zethrid threw open the door, not thinking to close it and strode off to the cafeteria of the waystation. She was lost in thought as she bought a drink from the beverage vendor and haphazardly punching in a payment code. It was denied twice before she realized her fingers were trembling and she had been mistyping it.

** **

The girl was watching and spoke quietly to her, clearly afraid, “Make sure to read the label, some of the foods we sell are only safe for certain species and can make you really ill and…”

** **

Zethrid rolled her eyes. As if she’d be foolish enough to buy something she couldn’t eat.

** **

She typed slower, grimacing in disgust at her weakness. The vendor was a young Unilu girl with braided hair and wide eyes, taking in Zethrid’s haggard appearance. She steeled her with a firm look, causing the girl to gulp and look away.

** **

“Do you want any medicine… or first aid supplies?,” The girl asked in a breathless rush. “Your eye….”

** **

Zethrid felt the pain of her swollen eye for the first time, her untended aches and burns registering all at once. For a moment, the room spun around her. She’d been so focused on interrogating the paladin and monitoring her communications that she had barely slept or eaten. She hadn’t ever cleaned herself up and her face began to throb as she spoke. 

** **

Zethrid nodded gingerly. “Some painkillers too. And make it quick.”

** **

The girl nodded frantically and tapped her computer, lights flashing at her station. In just a few tics, another Unilu came from the store room with a hovercart and the supplies neatly arranged on top. The girl began to package the products as the boy idly chatted with her.

** **

“Can you believe that stupid rumor, Rinii? Even if Voltron hadn’t cut and run decaphoebs ago, why would they want to come to a dumpy sector like this? It’s just a scam or something.”

** **

The girl caught Zethrid’s eye before turning to address the other in a quieter tone, “I don’t know, but management is acting all freaked out. Trying to get us all to fight them is a waste of time. Most everyone is going to cut and run rather than get caught doing business here. I’ve been yelled at for not following stupid rules all day.”

** **

Zethrid realized her hearing had gone out and been replaced by a shrill ring.

** **

“Did you just say Voltron,” she said in a dark voice.

** **

The second Unilu nodded slowly, little spines sticking up on his skin as he took paid attention to her for the first time. The girl gulped and offered her the bag of supplies with a shaky hand.

** **

“Th-thank you for —”

** **

Zethrid grabbed her things and turned to leave. Everything around her had slowed to a crawl, from the mutters of the Unilu behind her to the sounds of other beings in the waystation. Her thoughts however, were in a frenzy. 

** **

_ Voltron is here and they hadn’t ever responded to my demand.  _

** **

_ Voltron is trying to take the paladin back without answering me.  _

** **

_ No word about Lotor _ _ — _ _ they didn’t take me seriously. _

** **

Her time had run out. She had to leave now if she had any hope of getting her revenge. But first… first she’d make them suffer, let Volton taste the bitterness of loss. 

** **

Zethrid strode back to her rented room with purpose, thinking of the most satisfying ways to kill the human, a cruel smirk snaking across her face. 


	4. Act Four - The Partisan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith has a plan, it's just that the plan keeps falling apart. Still he's moving forward, because if he can't save Lance, then what kind of a leader is he?

_ There were three of us this morning _

_ I’m the only one this evening _

_ But I must go on _

_ The frontiers are my prison _

_ Oh, the wind, the wind is blowing _

_ Freedom soon will come _

_ Then we’ll come from the shadows _

** **

Keith was in the Black Lion, urging him faster and faster, while trying not to break formation with the rest of the team. It was odd that Black, who was usually a slower, steadier powerhouse, could fly so fast but it seemed the lion was responding to the will of its pilot. He couldn’t go as fast as he wanted, though, since Allura and Hunk were towing the Red Lion between them. The struggle to lead the others safely or to leave them behind so he could race ahead weighed heavily on his mind.

** **

In the cockpit, Acxa braced herself against his chair. Her somber expression was fixed on the holographic map of the space station, turning it over and expanding it for more information. She caught his eye and offered a cautious smile, which he returned  — o r tried to. He wanted to show his appreciation to her for assisting them but it was too hard to smile. The best he could manage was to pull his lips into a tight line and nod. She nodded back, a bit awkwardly and out of rhythm,

** **

He turned his attention to the comms, where Pidge and Coran were discussing the best ways to get around their enemy.

** **

“The problem is Esgarrouth is full of encryption! And fake data and pathways! It is a literal hive of scum and villainy! I can’t get anything on who is on the station, why they’re visiting, or where they’re staying, and you know that means they’re up to no good.” She complained. “The best I can do is to physically hack into their main computer and forcibly ground all ships that have arrived in the last two days.” 

** **

“Quintants,” Allura corrected her.

** **

“Arrrgh, yes, quintants. Excuse me, I haven’t slept since… since... I. honestly can’t remember.” She trailed off, but her fingers continued to clack across her tablet. For a moment she looked small, young, and defeated. There was a heaviness in the air that just wouldn’t break and Keith realized he was waiting for Lance to chip in with some snarky comment or lighthearted joke or earnest encouragement. Perhaps it was because they were all so exhausted but no one spoke up and the painful silence lingered.

** **

They all were exhausted and unready for a firefight, going on two quintants without rest or real nourishment beyond water packs and emergency rations. They were weak and tired, and Coranw was still recovering from being beaten half to death. And from what they’d heard from Acxa, they were in for a struggle. Esgarrouth was started by a close-knit family of outlaws who wanted to make a place where criminals were could go to rest, recoup, adn spend their ill-gotten gains.

** **

The silence grew long and heavy over the comms. 

** **

Keith took in Pidge’s pale face and dark eyebags, clenching his fist until his armor creaked. He silently wished Shiro would say something, anything, to inspire them to keep going. But he knew he had to speak, that the others were waiting for him, the new Black Paladin, to take charge. Especially since his first decision to help Acxa had ended up with Lance being taken.

** **

_ What can I say?  _

** **

_ What should I say?  _

** **

_ Black, please… tell me what to do. _

** **

He could feel his stress and anxiety building into a massive guilt trip, thinking of the ways he’d pulled away from the team over the last few phoebs, when he had purposefully withdrawn to leave them to grow together as a team on their own. His instinctual reaction had always been flight, or avoidance. Learning to take charge, to lean on a group for support, to be the foundation for others was entirely new to Keith. 

** **

A memory bubbled to the surface of Lance comforting him, a hand on his shoulder, his face serious but kind.  _ “Keith, no one can replace Shiro. But the Black Lion wouldn’t choose anybody it didn’t feel was worthy to lead Voltron.” _

** **

Keith remember the shock that had courses through him, and the hope that Lance could possibly believe in him, could trust him. He had pulled away, out of habit, uncomfortable with the expectation and the pressure. Hearing his proclaimed rival support him with sincerity, with blunt honesty, was the push he needed to take on the mantle of leadership.

** **

_ “I respect its choice. You should too.” _

** **

Even if he wasn’t perfect, Keith knew he had to try to lead them. Lance had put his faith in him and he refused to let him down. This was just like before. There wasn’t time to second guess and doubt himself. Before he could say anything, however, Hunk spoke up, kindly, a balm to everyone’s nerves. 

** **

“Pidge, you’ve been working harder than anyone else. Are you sure you want to be on the ground team? Can’t you hack from where you are in orbit and rest a little bit? You too, Coran, you’re already hurt and we don’t have the Castleship or pods anymore! You guys should stay out of the station’s orbit with Acxa patrolling while the rest of us go on the ground.”

** **

PIdge groaned and rubbed her face exaggeratedly, “It’s impossible to hack from here. The station is almost impenetrable with firewalls and crappy code and I’d bet anything that’s intentional. I have to be at the main server to find any real information. Besides, you and Allura are going to guard of the lions and defend us if they flag any Galra down. Green isn’t big enough to make a huge difference up there anyway. Coran can help me with translation if he’s up for it and Shiro can back me up if I need it.”

** **

“I would be happy to assist, Number Five. Besides,” Coran’s face turned down slightly, “I can’t help but feel responsible for some part in his abduction. I didn’t notice in time and wasn’t able to get your attention.”

** **

Keith shook his head, there was no way Coran could take the blame. If anyone was responsible, it was  _ him,  _ the Black Paladin.

** **

Allura cut in, “You were not responsible, Coran, at least not alone. You were injured and we were not focused enough when it mattered. Now we all have to make it right and get Lance back.” 

** **

Coran nodded, eyes twinkling despite his lopsided grin and bruised face, “I rescued you all once, and I must say, I’ve found quite a taste for playing the hero. Can’t leave the rescue to the young bucks, now can I? 

** **

Keith chuckled at that, gratitude for his team burning in his chest. “All right, he called out, feeling hopeful, “Then we’ll stick to the plan. Everyone got it, or should I recap?”

** **

Acxa tapped his shoulder and gave him a significant look. 

** **

“What?”

** **

She shook her head. “Are you sure your paladin be alert enough to break in? Speed is essential to the success of this mission. Whether we’re dealing with Ezor or Zethrid, you have to remember that they’re trained assassins. They’ll be ready to kill or run. If she falters —”

** **

“Hey!” Pidge cried out with a grimace.

** **

He held up a hand, offering what he hoped was a confident or at least firm smile. It  _ had _ occurred to him that Pidge or any one of them would be in a great deal of danger. The aliens on the station weren’t lawful and they might try to cut a deal with the Galra. On top of all of this was the fact that they were running on empty, pushing themselves with little sleep or food to stay on Lance’s trail.

** **

_ What will we do if this all goes haywire? _

** **

But Keith had to shut down his doubts. There simply wasn’t time to think of another plan, and he wasn’t positive his teammates would follow if he decided to regroup. And besides, Lance was so close. If they didn’t act know, he might slip through their fingers…

** **

_ That’s not going to happen _ .

** **

He turned to the double agent, “I know my team. Pidge can handle herself. We’re almost there; let’s focus on the mission.”

** **

Acxa paused. 

** **

“You may know your team, but I know Zethrid and Ezor. They are angry and ruthless, and you just destroyed their ship. We have to be ready for anything. If they get even the slightest hint that we’ve boarded the station… they won’t hesitate to kill him.” The silence on the comms was disorienting as Acxa watched him with something like pity on her face.

** **

Keith took a steadying breath as the space station in the distance grew closer, his heart pounding in his chest. The thought that Lance could die when they’d found him… when they were on their way to rescue him was intolerable.

** **

Allura spoke up then, eyes glittering and voice sharp. “Then we’d better be quick.” Despite her tone, she was smiling, confident. Just like Lance. Her energy, her  _ spirit _ had lifted them out of the grim reality they’d been focused on.

** **

It occurred to him that he could use the bond to support them, to support  _ Lance.  _

** **

Keith smiled back at her gratefully, needing her to lift them all up just as readily as Lance always had. He closed his eyes, reaching out for the Voltron bond, pulling the different threads to himself. reaching for one that burned like fire and flowed like water. He hadn’t felt it this strong since he’d left Lance to lead the team just a day earlier so he reached out to it, and  _ pulled _ . The thread thrummed in response, the not-sound resonating, rippling in his mind. 

** **

_ Lance, hold on. Just a little longer. _

** **

When he opened his eyes, he saw Shiro offering him a proud smile from his place next to Allura in the Blue Lion’s cockpit.

** **

_ They could feel him, he was leading them _ .

** **

Keith felt the warmth and strength of the Black Lion ripple through him. They had been through so much to find each other, they had fought together and saved each other, there was no way they could fail Lance now. He felt the energy sparkling through their bond in his chest and Black roared out in his mind.

** **

“All right, our plan is a Go. Pidge will cloak the Green Lion and land her on the station, Shiro, Coran, Pidge, and I will head to the main server room of the control tower. Shiro and I will get Lance’s location and intercept whoever is with him while Pidge and Coran ground the ships and silence the emergency systems.” 

** **

He paused, “Hunk, keep watch of the lions on the edge of the station’s orbit and be ready to fight. Allura, use your radar to notify us of any incoming Galra ships. We’re already roughed up and we need to avoid fighting a battle on two fronts. Acxa, if they need back up Once we get Lance, we’ll rally and get the hell out of here. In and out, team, we can do this.”

** **

“Yeah!” They cried in unison, with only a cocky, self-assured voice missing. 

** **

Keith’s anger stoked in his chest at that thought. As they landed on top of the control tower, his adrenaline set in and everything became patchy. It wasn’t just that Lance was missing but that he had been taken and was a bartering chip, but that Lance had only done what he had been asked and was suffering for it. That everyone was risking their lives on mission that shouldn’t have been necessary. And instead of letting his anger control him, this time he was going to use to hone his sense of purpose and drive him forward. 

** **

He left Black in a space dive to join the others in the Green Lion, which was cramped and warm as they stood shoulder to shoulder. Pidge was silent as she enabled cloaking and touched down onto the base but she told them to wait as they moved to leave.

** **

“I’ve got an old map uploading; it might be outdated, but my heat readings confirm where the servers are. Once we get in, we have to haul ass there before anyone there figures out we’re boarding them.”

** **

Shiro pointed down at the ship below, “Heard. We can try to use that service port to enter and go from there.” Pidge and Coran were nodding and turned to him, waiting for his input, but Keith was on another world altogether. He was fighting hard to keep his calm and focus, when all he wanted to do was run, carve his way into the ship and fight until he had found Lance. He managed to lead them out but his mind was miles ahead of him, conjuring worst case scenarios, even though he was repeating his favorite mantra. 

** **

_ Patience yields focus. _

** **

_ Patience yields focus. _

** **

The ship was disorienting and difficult to navigate, too dark and old and entire parts seemed to be badly welded together. Hallways and doors were dented and patched with various metals, with puddles of random viscosity tripping them up. The lights were dim or simply missing, and for a moment, as they raced through the twisting, turning maze, he felt like he was in his dream again, racing for Lance through shapeless darkness and going nowhere at all. 

** **

_ Focus. You’re almost there. _

** **

Keith didn’t have to reach for the pull of Voltron, he could physically feel a throb in his chest, as though there was a coal was burning inside of him. He didn’t know where he was but he could feel Lance here on the station. But the feeling was different this time, staticky, like a radio station falling in and out of tune. It made Keith’s hackles rise. 

** **

“Let’s go,” he muttered and began to run through the sprawling, dim corridors until they came up to the server room door. 

** **

Pidge had been right to come, she muttered to herself, because the operating system was a mess of unruly, encrypted, and badly written code intended to thwart authorities needing information and clearly written by a bunch of space slugs. It was taking far too long and she only stopped mumbling in frustration to pound her fist into the wall.

** **

“If they get even a hint that we’re here...” Keith spat out, pacing back and forth, glaring stonily at the security officers of Esgarrouth who had been working in the room. They now lay bound on the floor with the nonchalance of people who were used to being held against their will.

** **

The younger looking one rolled his eyes and shrugged. “I’m not the one fiddling with our systems, she is. If anything goes off, it’s on her.”

** **

The older officer jabbed his spindly elbow into the other, saying in a loud whisper, “don’t provoke them, they don’t look like killin’ types but ya never know.” 

** **

Keith’s whole body had tensed up as he waited, but the lack of action was almost painful as his mind raced ahead. Needing something to do he called out to the team orbiting, “any updates guys?”

** **

Allura replied with a brief negative and Hunk called back, his voice excited. 

** **

“All’s quiet on the western front… or is it starboard? Any news? Have you found him yet?”

** **

Keith felt guilty when he replied no but was determined to try and keep his anxiety at bay. “How about you Acxa, anything?”

** **

She didn’t reply immediately but she called back, “Nothing to report here except some rebel ships….” She cleared her throat and sent another transmission, “Have you located them yet?” He shook his head, “Not yet, but Pidge is-” 

** **

“I’m working on it, all right! I’d like to see you try to work with this hunk of junk!” Pidge interrupted shrilly. 

** **

Acxa replied quickly, “That wasn’t, I wasn’t trying to.. Just… hurry.” And she closed her comms, filling Keith with dread. What had she meant? Some of his feelings must have been visible on his face because Coran walked over to pat Keith on the shoulder kindly.

** **

“Don’t worry lad, we’re made it this far, we’ve almost found him. What is it that Number One says all the time? Patience yelmores focus?”

** **

Keith laughed awkwardly while Shiro masked a smile at the mangled phrase. 

** **

“Pretty much,” he mumbled, forcing himself to take a long breath in and out, fighting off that profound uselessness that fluttered in his chest. He was grateful to Coran for his endless encouragement but it was hard to get out of his own head when there was so much on the line. 

** **

Patience.. he’d never had much. When he was frustrated and barely able to contain himself,  _ Lance _ had always helped him, even if he didn’t know it at the time. He was always there with an oddly insightful comment and an outstretched hand. And unlike Shiro, Lance had no attachments to make him biased, easily moving from being a jealous rival to an honest friend to something… more… Lance never waited for Keith to grow into his role as leader, or even expectations. It was like he just  _ knew _ Keith was destined for more and vowed to stand by his side no matter what. 

** **

Keith’s heart jumped as a dark thought crossed his mind and he stifled a sharp gasp.

** **

_ How am I supposed to manage without him? _

** **

_ What if she is just going to kill him anyway? What if he’s dying right now? _

** **

_ What will Voltron do  _ _ — _ _ what will I do without him? _

** **

Shiro placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, reading him as easily as a book.

** **

“Keith, take a breath. Lance is here. We’re going to get him back.”

** **

Keith patted the hand fondly as the room spun and he fought off the panic that came in waves. Facing the thought he’d been avoiding was so dizzying, so overwhelming that he needed to ground himself. He didn’t have much time to orient himself, though.

** **

Pidge threw her head back towards them, breathless with excitement as a video clip played on a monitor on the main console. It was only a few seconds but clearly showed Zethrid lugging a body into a room. “They’re here! In the left wing of the station! A place called Axel’s Waystation, room 728A.”

** **

He and Shiro turned to each other, before heading toward the door. Keith formed his sword, before Coran yelped at him, limping over to pull him back. 

** **

“Hold on Number Four, look at these monitors! There’s a right swarm outside heading towards us, they’ll slow you down!”

** **

Sure enough, there was an armed crowd of aliens on various monitors, racing with tools and weapons down the corridor towards them. They weren’t organized or uniformed and seemed almost crazed, and that, Keith thought, made them dangerous.

** **

Shiro turned to the Unilu who were propped against the wall and watching some kind of holographic comedy show from a device strapped to the younger one’s arm. His eyebrow started twitching as he exhaled. 

** **

“Hey, what’s your name? We don’t want to fight, we just needed help. Can you talk to them, get them to calm down?”

** **

The older Unilu scoffed and began to twist his moustache angrily, “Tell you my name? Calm down? Why would they? Yer all pirate scum, boarding our ship. Breaking and entering is what yer doing!”

** **

Pidge snorted, “Please, we’ve explained over and over that we are rescuing a friend. You’re the ones who refused to help and attacked us! And then tried to bribe us! At least tell us who is outside and why they’re attacking!”

** **

The younger Unilu yawned, “They’re family and they must have figured out you got onboard somehow. They don’t take kindly to strangers takin’ over their ship. Esgarrouth is worth a lot and we take care of our own! Yore all going to be quiznaked soon.”

** **

Pidge glared and turned to Keith and Shiro, “So it’s the alien redneck version of the mafia. That’s fitting. So we need another exit, that’s just perfect! Why would any of this be easy…” She trailed off as she turned back to the screen. The Olkari turned back to their show without another word.

** **

The door thumped, a loud crack washing over them and disrupting the standoff. On the monitors the crowd had reached the door to the server room and begun battering it with their tools. 

** **

Keith grit his teeth, thoughts tumbling over each other. Every second spent dithering and arguing was dangerously wasted. 

** **

“Enough Pidge. They’re not going to help. We need a new plan.”

** **

A moment later, Coran piped up.

** **

“Shiro, can you stay here to fight them off? Keith can go find young Lance. He just needs to get around them. Number Five needs to keep the alarm systems off and try to lock down the station. 

We’ll have to face them alone. Though I’m afraid I won’t be too much help, I still have some tricks up my sleeves!”

** **

The younger Unilu smirked. “good luck fightin’ through ‘em. I figure half the station’s on its way. This here’s a family business. We can’t let scum just break in and take what’s ours, least not without a fight.”

** **

Keith glared at him, red hot frustration snaking through his veins but Shiro cast an exasperated look on the two. “If you want to continue being so unhelpful, we’ll have to gag you. And we’ve been extremely clear that we’re not stealing anything. We’re on a rescue mission, so unless you want your family to face the Alliance, pipe down.” 

** **

The Unilu settled back muttering to the other and sneering, “what Alliance,” before finally quieting. 

** **

Pidge’s face was lit with excitement as she pointed one arm towards the ceiling.

** **

“Keith won’t have to fight his way through. Look!”

** **

They all followed the line of her finger to see a decently-sized hatch with alien writing on it. Keith could fit, barely, but it’d be some work. 

** **

Pidge continued, beaming. “It’s a ventilation shaft! If you crawl through it, you can get to Lance without having to stop and fight anyone. Some of your armor might not fit though, so it’s pretty risky…” she trailed off. 

** **

“I’ll do it,” Keith said in a voice that brokered no argument, removing off his chest plate first. 

** **

“I’m still not sold on you going by yourself. What if she’s not alone?” Shiro spoke up, face taut. 

** **

Keith paused and then shucked off his thigh plates. 

** **

_ The rest should be okay _ , he reasoned.

** **

Looking up at the man he considered a brother, he took in the fear and nerves lacing across his expression. How odd to be in this position, to have to reassure him. 

** **

“Then I’ll have to face them both. But… just trust me. I’ll rescue him. And meet you back here.” 

** **

Shiro nodded slowly, a conflicted look on his face. “We’ll be waiting for you both.” 

** **

Pidge wheeled around from the screen she’d been working at. “Time to go. Someone’s accessed the system from a different location. They’re trying to shut me out! They could lock us here, shut off our air supply, set off emergency alarms, any number of horrible things. We need to get him now.”

** **

Keith turned to her then, “you all need to get back to the lions as soon as you can. How are you going to do that?”

** **

Pidge shrugged, “I’m not going anywhere until I see you and Lance together on the monitors. We’re leaving here together.”

** **

Coran hummed before pointing at the console, “What Keith needs is a good diversion. We could fight our way through now and head to the Green Lion. The cloaking should confuse them for a good long while and we can fly directly to the Waystation to pick them up.”

** **

Shiro nodded, “Then you’d better get going. That door isn’t going to last much longer.”

** **

Pidge paused before reaching into a compartment of her suit and grabbing a small gadget, pressing it to a computer port and typing. 

** **

Keith would never get used to how fluent she was in technologies far beyond him. Even if the coding was in Galran or other obscure languages, she had her tablet to help decipher it and Coran or Hunk consult for the tricky lines. Somehow she was moving ahead, fluent and quick, prepared for all sorts of scenarios. She was amazing.

** **

Pidge offered the device to him, interrupting his exhausted rambling thoughts.

** **

“Take this. This whole plan is touch and go and if we have to get away or someone removes my access to the controls or the comms go down, you’ll need a way forward. The light will stay green when you’re headed towards Lance and blink when you’re near him. If you head away from him, it’ll flash red.”

** **

She tossed him a small device similar to a USB drive with a green light on one end. Her gaze shuttered and she bit her lip as though she was struggling with something. Offering a sideways grin, she murmured, “get our Sharpshooter back, huh?”

** **

He stopped walking towards the shaft and nodded, a promise to himself as much as her. 

** **

“You know I will. Shiro, can you give me a boost?”

** **

“Best be on your way, Number Four!” Coran offered a salute from his spot next to Pidge, before giving Keith a sadder smile, “Bring Lance back, won’t you?”

** **

_ They are all counting on me now.  _

** **

Shiro rushed forward to prop him up, even as the banging and mechanical whirring outside grew louder and the Unilu on the floor began to cheer on their companions. 

** **

_ Focus. Lance is waiting for you.  _


	5. Act Five - Put Your Money on Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is so close to rescuing Lance, but as he pushes himself forward, all he can think is one terrifying thought - what if he's too late?

_ Trumpets of angels call for my head _

_ But I fight through the ether and I quit when I’m dead _

_ If you want to know who’ll be there in the end _

_ When you bury me baby, I’ll still be your friend _

_ Singing put your money on me _

Keith breathed deeply as he heaved himself into the shaft, wedging himself forward, his bayard back in its compact form, held tight as a promise in his right hand. He could hear Shiro updating Hunk and Allura, but pressed on. He had to focus on getting to Lance. 

It was impossible to see and extremely tight in the shaft. The cold metal was old and haphazardly welded with sharp edges that bit into his suit. The air was clean but cold and he shivered as the air cooled his sweat too quickly. Worst of all was the squeeze all around him. His shoulders and hips were simply too wide in some places. The dark and the walls pressed in on him until he was panting with exertion and the dizzying feeling that things were closing in on him.

_ Stop. _

He couldn’t move his arm to activate the map and couldn’t move his head enough to get a full view of it anyway. So he was stuck using the tiny tracker to guide his way through. For every twist and turn and every inch he gained pressing forward, moving the tracker between tunnels to maintain its green beacon, he could feel the panic slowly flooding him. He had to get out. 

_ Stop. _

_ Calm down. _

_ Take a breath. _

He could barely see anything in the pitch dark despite the dim glow of his armor and the bright neon green of the tracker. Every time his eyes tracked across the light that marked Lance’s location, it seared an after image into his vision until there were hundreds of ghostly off-color dots dancing around him. He tried to keep it in his peripheral vision, to avoid repeatedly blinding himself. 

Keith realized suddenly that his comms were completely silent. Pidge had warned him about that, and though he wasn’t sure why what had caused them to fail, he hoped with all his heart that they were still safe. Then he moved ahead. 

He kept moving, twisting his shoulders at an awkward angle to fit. His shoulders were too broad now, and he tilted them, one arm in front clutching the beacon and the other in back holding his bayard. He kept tucking his face down to protect it from the sharp and uneven sides of the vent. 

As he moved farther along, he found himself taking left turns to keep the light a steady green. He had moved from the larger passage to smaller ducts that were cramped and musty, narrow enough that moving at all became nearly impossible as he wriggled and pushed along the metal with his boots. 

It was tight and the air around him was warm and muzzy. Every breath he took pressed his abdomen against the slick metal so he couldn’t inhale properly. And as he shifted his arm, he pulled back too fast, hitting himself in the face with his bayard. His heartbeat rang in his ears and bright lights flashed in his vision and the fear that he was getting nowhere bled into his chest. 

Still, Keith kept going, anxious energy moving him more than any belief he was going in the right direction. 

The worst feeling was the disconnect; being cut off from the comms was unnerving. He’d had no idea how much time he’d spent pulling himself through the maze. No news from the others and no news about Lance… They could be hurt, caught. They might need him right this second while he was stupidly trapped in this dirty, small air duct.

Keith’s left leg caught for a second, his suit stretching on something jagged and firm enough to pull him back. But there was no room to move, to push his arms around his torso to unhook it, so he strained and pushed against it with a growl until he felt the suit give and his body fall forward. 

Keith hissed between his teeth and grunted as his leg seared with pain. Wet warmth began to trickle down his thigh. He dropped his head down, frustrated, angry, lightheaded, ashamed. 

_ Isn’t this all your fault? _

_ What kind of leader are you? _

_ What are you even doing? _

He should have fought off a hundred people with the team than to have to crawl through this hellhole: cut off, in the dark, alone. Hadn’t he just promised himself he’d never abandon the team again? That he wouldn’t run off to play hero and leave them behind to be hurt, to die?

Were Shiro and the others safely barricaded or were they fighting, outnumbered, after days without rest and Coran still injured? What if they needed him just as he’d left?

_ What about Lance? Is he safe, is he even a _ _ — _

Keith stopped moving, stopped putting pressure against his leg as his eyes filled with furious tears. He wiped his head against his arm, letting go for one minute. One minute to let his fear and his guilt and his hurt out. 

_ Be okay, be okay. _

_ Patience yields focus. _

_ Just breathe. _

He chanted mantras to himself, knowing he had to keep going despite the fear threatening to swallow him. He tried to steel his mind as he begged Black for clarity, for calm. Black had chosen him for this role, now he needed guidance, he needed the strength to move forward.

...but it wasn’t Black who responded. 

It was that same cool and hot energy he’d felt in the dream he’d shared with Lance. The heartbeat he’d felt in the server room, faint as a butterfly’s wing. That magnetic warmth he’d been drawn to, an echo of the drumming in his own chest. It wrapped around his heart and he gasped hoarsely, crying out with gratitude. 

Lance was here.

Lance was still _ alive _. 

He opened his eyes, twisting his neck to look at the beacon, which was flashing green, unable to stop the wild, relieved smile on his face. He felt something like a roar in his chest as Black responded to his surge of emotions. 

No more guilt No more second-guessing. He’d doubted himself for long enough. He was chosen to lead and Lance, Shiro, all the others were counting on him. 

He dropped it to focus on his bayard, tilting it down so it would cut through the metal of the shaft as it formed. The metal wouldn’t give easily and his position was so restricted that it took several hacking attempts just to make the first cut, his elbows digging into his stomach to move it at all.

There was an ear-splitting siren that startled him, echoing around the air duct, and Keith shouted as the noise drilled into his head. 

The emergency alert system was on. The station must’ve gotten control of the operating system. 

But nothing mattered now; he trusted Coran, Shiro, and Pidge to look after each other. He knew Allura and Hunk were ready and waiting to get them out of there. He’d started to trust in Acxa too. They were trusting him to do his part now. So he dug in again and again, widening the cut, his fingers aching as they were crushed against the metal and the blade, throwing his shoulders at it in a near frenzy until the metal began to creak and squeal. 

With one last thrust Keith fell to the floor in a heap, disoriented, gasping in the cooler air, his sword at the ready. His thigh ached where it has been slashed in the vent, the bleeding starting up again. He wiped it off with his glove, finding his bearings and brushing away dust and metal shavings in a hall lit by a flashing red light. 

A few feet away an Unilu woman stared at him, before dropping her drink and scampering off. 

There down the hall, farther than he should be able to see, was the sign for 728A. And Zethrid was walking towards it from the opposite direction, face battered and bruised. She didn’t have a weapon on her but her top was covered in red, human blood. 

_ Lance _

His heart sank and something flared and snapped inside as he ran towards her, limping badly. His vision was a tunnel of red with one focus. Keith wanted to rage and scream, but pushed it aside as he prepared to fight her. 

She stopped short as she noticed him sprinting towards her, staring him down with a mocking curl to her lip. He was only a few doors down when she turned around. Instead of facing him, Zethrid had flashed her fangs and ran. Keith glared and tried to move even faster but his body was hurting and bone-tired.

_ No, she’s not getting away! Not after what she’s done! _

Despite his inner fervor, Keith slowed to a stop as he reached the door,the pain from his cramped muscles and the gash in his leg causing him to heave in deep breaths. He moved his hand to call Shiro before remembering his comms were down. 

Keith groaned and slammed a fist into the door, bitter thoughts curdling his stomach. He might still be able to reach Zethrid if he pushed himself and he limped forward a few steps before stopping. Something in his heart told him not to chase. 

_ Black. _

The Black Lion was rumbling in him, telling him to let her go, that he’d reached his goal. 

_ Following Zethrid won’t help Lance. _

_ Revenge isn’t the goal. _

_ This is a rescue mission. _

Keith turned away, flushed with indignation, and entered the room, the door not even fully shut. As he pushed it open, his heart rate rang loudly in his ears and time seemed to slow as he processed the details. Zethrid had been covered in human blood. 

He didn’t want to see what was inside but he made himself look around

The room was dark, the corridor only slightly brightening the room, the emergency strips in the wall lighting the space with a dull red glow. It was tiny and cluttered, with a bed, a dresser, and Lance’s dirty armor piled in a corner with some trash and empty food wrappers. 

There were smudges of red and blue blood on the furniture and walls. Keith looked around the room, afraid to look at the body leaning against the wall by the bed. Afraid to see what injury had doused Zethrid with dark red blood. 

But he had a promise to keep so he moved forward and gazed down, taking his friend in. 

Lance looked terrible, covered in dried sweat, crusted blood under his nose, with deep scratches all his over face. His eyes were swollen and purple and Keith realized with a shock that there were dark bruises and gouges on his neck.

He was leaning heavily to the side with one shoulder so askew and swollen that it had to be dislocated. And despite all of this Keith had dropped to his knees with his hands out, shaking, because Lance…

Lance was breathing. 

Rapidly, and too shallow, but he was breathing. And if he didn’t have a job to do, he might’ve broken into the deep sobs that made his chest shake with tremors. 

Instead he gently cupped Lance’s face and caressed his temple with his thumb. 

“Lance, it’s me, Keith. I’m here to.. to get you home. Wake up.”

Keith’s voice shook, as a thousand different images he’d been avoiding flooded his mind. 

Lance bludgeoned to death; Lance suffocated, floating away into space; Lance stabbed by Zethrid as she growled in anger. Lance sold to Haggar. Lance, alone and afraid.

But he shook his head to clear the anxious thoughts away and instead took in the minute changes in the Red Paladin’s face as the sounds and sensations woke him. He was stunned, and hurting, and so grateful to hold this man. The bond in his chest felt warm and the string that connected them felt like another heartbeat besides his own. 

Lance’s brows twitched as he woke, and Keith traced the line of his brows with his fingers. Lance blinked his eyes open and Keith couldn’t look away. Were they ocean blue, or navy? Maybe a dark aqua?

Lance’s pupils were dilated and he seemed out of it, stunned and disoriented. But Keith couldn’t look away, even as his own tears warmed his cheeks. He knew he should start treating his injuries, try to use Lance’s helmet to call the others but he couldn’t do much more than take him in and smile for the moment. 

Lance was alive. 

“Keith,” Lance rumbled in a raspy voice. “Keith you found me, you came for me.”

And Lance pushed forward as best as he could to rest his cheek on Keith’s, to pull them together as close as they could be. He started to sob in between his words, incoherent but Keith understood what he was trying to say, and kissed the top of Lance’s head. Lance whined as his shoulder was jostled but didn’t move, didn’t say anything else.

The pull in his chest was gone, the threads weren’t separated but bound together,. And he held the fiery-icy one closest to his heart. 

Keith finally pulled Lance’s helmet to him, whispering in a voice that dipped and caught with tears that they needed a ride. 

Pidge called back, her voice crackling with static, “on our way….. Green… hang tight…”

Lance closed his eyes, smiling gently, resting his cheek in the palm of Keith’s hand. His posture relaxed, tears fell slowly down his face. They waited together, wrapped around each other. Nothing mattered because Keith was here, they had found each other, and Lance was finally safe. 


	6. Epilogue - Don't Think Twice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rehabilitation. Healing. Therapy. Recovery. It looks different on everyone and is the only way to move on. Two steps forward, one step back. There's no place for doubt or insecurity anymore. Keith makes a decision.

_ I really don't get what everyone else believes _

_ So why do I say things I don't really mean, really mean _

_I'm only crying 'cause I never dreamed_ _It'd take this long, it'd take this long_

Keith was walking towards the  G arrison’s _ Alfor Altean Memorial Rehabilitation Center _ , a warm feeling turning his cheeks red. Normally he had a fairly stoic expression on his face, a leftover from darker times in his life, but he couldn’t have stopped the soft smile that was blooming if he’d tried. He was too excited for words when he thought about what was going to happen in a few minutes. 

He was supposed to meet Lance after he finished his physical therapy, but he’d gotten a video call from Shiro and they had spent almost an hour catching up and sharing news. 

Shiro and Curtis were in the middle of renovating a house and they’d discussed all the fun and frustration of home ownership. His haunted expression as he talked about the horrors of peeling off wallpaper and pulling up shag carpet had made Keith laugh until his sides hurt.  Still the project was a dream they both shared and it was good to see him so content and happy in his retirement. As survivors and soldiers of the Galran War, sharing the little details of normalcy and the oddities of falling back into a normal routine was a surreal experience. Especially when running into the many alien species who had taken refuge on Earth. 

Shiro had also asked in a serious tone how Lance was recovering from his shoulder surgery. They’d all felt guilty watching Lance struggle with the dislocation and loss of movement as they’d made their way back to their home planet and into the dangerous battles against Honerva. 

There hadn’t been time to do more than pop the arm back into place, apparently an extremely dangerous choice and one they knew not to repeat, and ask Allura to expend some of her precious energy to heal it as best she could. 

It still bothered Lance and he’d learned to cope by using his right arm to balance and shoot, but the pain was clear in his compulsive stretching and massaging of the joint, in the tension in his face and brows. He’d accidentally dislocated it again in a training session and learned that his rotator cuff was torn and the ligaments stretched. If he wanted to use his arm safely without risking future dislocations and pain, surgery and slow rehabilitation was the only option. 

Shiro was intimately aware of the frustration and stress of physical injuries, and Keith was able to vent to him about his guilt and feelings of helplessness. Lance had waited for surgery in pain, and now as he recovered slowly and impatiently, was anxious for the freedom to swing his arms, climb, stretch, and shoot without paying for it later, stiff and aching. “Like an old man,” Lance would mutter.

Keith had paused to let his thoughts settle. “It’s not just that it hurts and rehab has to be slow. It’s been two weeks and he can’t do anything except arm presses against the wall and that still makes him cry if he pushes himself. There’s something else there and I don’t know whether I should bring it up or wait for him to share.”

Shiro simply nodded, waiting for him to continue. Keith thought for a moment about things that he couldn’t vocalize, like the look of shame Lance got in his eyes when his shoulder hurt bad enough that Keith had to massage it from his neck to his back so it wouldn’t cramp up. He thought of the snappy attitude Lance had fallen into for days when he’d first learned he needed surgery, and the dogged way he’d practiced with his rifle and sword during every spare minute on the journey home, trying to match his skill with his dominant hand. 

Rehab was grueling for rotator cuff surgery and there had been some repairs made to his labrum as well. It was four to six weeks of slings, rest, and passive motion stretches for his hand and arm. They had gotten through that but it had taken a lot of Netflix, ice cream, and daily face masks to keep Lance positive and focused on recovery. 

That was supposed to be followed by four to six weeks slowly stretching and strengthening his shoulder with grip exercises and pendulums and presses. 

Unfortunately Lance had needed a couple of weeks off the plan to deal with his increasing pain and learn different stretches to manage it. His doctors and therapists were some of the best in the world but like the Garrison as a whole, they were lacking in empathy and communication. 

Keith shuddered as he remembered Lance’s anxiety and the way he’d lash out bitterly, fear written in the lines of his face. He hadn’t been much better, frustrated by Lance’s pain and trying too hard to motivate him. They’d been arguing and snarking at each other so much that Keith had contemplated sleeping somewhere else until they worked through it. 

It was then that Keith had suggested that Coran visit to help Lance with his rehab. The older Altean was usually busy assisting Allura on New Altea, but once he’d heard that the Red Paladin was struggling, he’d messaged them both, ready to help. And it had been just what they both needed, the extra support taking a load of them both. Still Keith could tell that the surgery, and the slow recovery, were weighing on Lance.

“I think… the other scars he has don’t hurt him as much. He can play them off as sexy or rugged,” Keith said quietly, nearly lost in his thoughts, “but his arm is something he needs to fight properly, to defend others with. I think he’s feeling useless and scared that he won’t be a good shot or a strong fighter anymore, and… he ties way too much of his worth into what he does for others… what he can do.” 

Shiro sighed, stretching the fingers of his robotic arm. He looked into the camera with a sad smile. “The mental scars stay with you for a long time, Keith. The Galra are good at getting into your head. They don’t have a use for people who are injured or disabled. And humans often do it too, without thinking or meaning to.” 

He paused, ruffling his hair. “Has he shared what she said to him? Maybe he could try to get some closure by writing it out, writing a letter to Zethrid. He doesn’t have to send it, just get it out. I’d be happy to talk to him again.”

Keith shook his head reflexively, a pit burning in his stomach at the thought of making Lance face  _ her _ , his abuser, before he was ready, even in a letter. If Lance brought it up, or his therapist, then he’d be all for it, but it was too soon for him to think about it. Keith could hardly stand to think of her, even though she’d begun to atone in so many ways. He did his best to avoid her when working with the Blade of Marmora but there were times when they were close enough that his stomach burned with bitterness and she was stiff and awkward.

Zethrid has almost taken  _ Lance _ from him, forever. 

He furrowed his brows, letting the anger fill him and flood out. 

“No, I don’t think that’s what he needs. He’s let go of what she’s done, we know how tormented and sick she was. Allura and I have made sure she’s been treated for the things she did to him.”

_ And who knows how many others… _

“I just need him to understand that even if things never go back to the way they were, and his arm doesn’t heal right, and he can’t shoot the same anymore… I need him to know that,” Keith coughed, struggling with the feeling of the warm flush crawling up how cheeks and ears, “that he’s perfect. And I, uh, I think I know how to do that.”

He mentally cursed at himself for flustering so easily, wishing these conversations didn’t always make him want to crawl into a hole. He decided to cut things short by lifting his hand up to the camera to display what it held. 

Shiro sat straight in his seat, his mouth dropping open a little as he saw what Keith had in his hand. 

“I just wanted to let you know, I mean it’s important to me that you know,” he checked the time before cringing and standing, “and I’ve got to go now, otherwise I’ll be late to pick him up.”

Shiro’s eyes and wide smile were practically sparkling, which made Keith both nauseous and excited. 

“Say no more… and good luck!” 

* * *

Keith jogged across the grounds towards the parking lots from the Voltron Atlas Campus. The Garrison had given the Paladins, Alteans, and Rebel officers swanky housing suites to thank them for winning the war. The houses were also a less than subtle way to encourage them all to visit Earth frequently, securing it as a major player in galactic politics by flaunting close ties with the defenders of the universe, despite their rudimentary technologies.

The suite wasn’t that far from the rehabilitation center, but the newly rebuilt campus was large enough that Keith thought it better to use his hoverbike instead of walking. He felt hot and cold at the same time, and the thought of waiting, of being late, of not  _ knowing  _ for one more second was making him sick to his stomach. 

_ It’s just nerves, take a breath, focus.  _

The desert air outside was hazy, and in a few minutes the sun would dip below the horizon, painting the sky in contrasting hues of burnt umber and teal and dark blue. The palm trees were silhouetted with rays of light. It was Lance’s favorite time of day. Keith took in the sky, the shifting breezes, the smell of the flowers in bloom, plucking one as he parked his bike. He wanted to burn it all into his memory as he paced outside the building. 

He thought about the others and knew he’d catch hell later if he didn’t give them a heads up. He swallowed his pride and grabbed his phone, tapping out a quick message and pressing send. Replies came flooding in moments later. Allura and Hunk both sent messages composed of emojis with the Queen sending a mix of smiley emojis and a bottle of champagne, while Hunk sent a gasping face followed by many, many crying faces. Keith huffed at Pidge’s snarky reply, “lol ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ don’t screw up.” 

The messages made everything all too real and he swallowed.

You could screw something like this up?

Keith shook his head to clear the distracting thoughts away and walked into the center. He waved to the smiling Puigian secretary, Janile, before starting down the hall, trembling a little. 

He stopped before he reached Lance’s room, using a darkened window to look at his own reflection, a little embarrassed he hadn’t thought to change into nicer clothes than his favorite red jacket or tame the strands slipping out of his ponytail. He didn’t actually care too much, but still…

He walked to the next room, his footsteps oddly loud in the empty hallway. When he stopped in front of the window, he took in the sight of Lance in his sweaty white spandex, stretching his arms out in front and across his chest. Just looking at him doggedly doing his reps calmed his pulse and warmed his heart. 

Lance worked out his shoulder muscles, after a good half an hour of simple cardio to keep his fitness up. Coran was beside him, pointing at different body parts and chatting away. The two were good for each other, silly and serious in equal measure. On the castle ship, Coran had seen Lance at his lowest, patched him up, helped him train, and encouraged him with confidence and a smile. With the Altean by his side, Lance had finally progressed to Phase Three of physical therapy.

Keith’s gaze drifted from Lance’s broad shoulders to the thin branching scar from the shock collar on his neck to his trim waist, watching for any tremors or signs of pain. Lance was doing his wall exercises, pressing against it like a standing push up, and extending his arms fully. His hair was misted with sweat and he wasn’t talking or smiling, completely focused on Coran’s counts. He looked exhausted, frustrated, determined. Keith felt his heart swell with pride. 

Coran caught his eye then with a wink and Keith held up his hand which caused the other to open his eyes wide in astonishment before grinning. 

It was time. 

Keith made his way into the gym as Lance stood back gently rolling his neck and beginning his cooldown stretches. 

“That was some fine progress Number Three, you were able to complete all your reps this time and your strength was quite good. I’m sure your therapists will be pleased when we meet next week.” Coran offered cheerfully as he put away the sticks and plastic resistance bands. 

Lance looked down, still not speaking, gently rubbing the meat of his arm. His shoulders were turned in and he jumped a little when Keith came from behind and placed a hand on his good arm. 

“You doing okay?”

Lance pulled away with a grimace, “Eh, I’m fine. Just sweating like a dog after barely doing anything, so, the usual.”

Keith frowned before moving in again, pulling Lance into a hug. “That’s not what Coran said. He seemed to think you did a good job.” Lance tensed in his arms as the Altean nodded enthusiastically. 

“Too right! His exercises were solid and consistent and his form was excellent. I imagine we can add more strengthening next week if his therapists agree!” 

Lance pulled a face, “What form? I’m literally moving my arms in circles, big deal.”

Keith pulled back to smile at his boyfriend, hands moving up to run soft circles at the base of his hair “Well that sounds like good news to me.”

Lance grumbled and walked off to grab his water bottle, “Seriously Keith, I’m disgusting, don’t touch me right now.” He faced the wall as he finished his cooldown, clearly upset. 

Keith felt his heart sink a little at the defeated tone. Before he could say anything noticed Coran’s mustache ruffling as he twitched his nose.

“Well now, I’d best be off. I have dinner plans with the Holts tonight and wouldn’t want to be late.” He extended his hand and Keith took it with some confusion. Coran shook it and spoke in a quieter voice, “As my Pidge would say, good quiznaking luck, my boy.”

Keith smiled and Coran strode towards the door, “Good work Number Three, keep doing your daily work and I’ll see you next week!”

Lance wished him goodbye in a soft voice and moved to lean against the counter. He used a towel to dry off, exhaling deeply. 

Keith walked towards him again, feeling his heart swell with sadness and understanding and deep, burning love. 

“I’m sorry if I’m annoying you by asking again, but are you ok?”

Lance stiffened before looking up sharply from under his brows and scoffing. He shoved the towel back in his gym bag and turned away again before bracing himself against the counter, every movement rushed, agitated. He muttered something to himself about wiggling your big toe in a wry tone. 

They’d worked on this together, talking through emotions and not shutting each other out, with help from a professional. Lance was trying to share his feelings more honestly, not letting himself forecast the future. 

“I’m fine… I’m fine, this whole thing is stupid, I’m just overreacting.”

Keith stopped moving, waiting for Lance to pull himself out of it. 

_ Talk to me.  _

“I know this needs to be slow and that I’m progressing fine, but it feels like, like,” Lance paused, his sentence trailing off. Keith jumped to complete it, “it’s not fast enough? Or you want to do more?”

Lance flung his good arm out, turning, looking Keith in the eye, spots of red on his cheeks, his voice high and angry. 

“No! I can’t do more! It’s humiliating enough to try and press my hand to the wall and move a stick in the air! I had to, to just stop in the middle of an exercise because it hurt. Again! I’m pathetic! And I’m sick of it. It’s useless. And I’m useless!” 

Lance covered his face with his hand and groaned. He was so physically expressive, so open when he felt strongly, and something in Keith warmed to know that no matter what Lance did, what he went through, that he was wholly himself. 

“Lance, please come here. I can’t watch you beat yourself up about this without hugging you. And I might want to make you sure you can’t hit me when I tell you’re wrong.” 

Lance laughed from behind his hands, his voice watery when he replied. “See that’s the thing. I know it’s not true because you like to tell me how great I am all the time. And you’re, like, incapable of lying. But I’m just so tired of waiting for things to get better and my arm not to hurt all the time and to feel normal again.”

He pulled his hands down and sure enough there were tiny rivers of tears trickling down his face. 

“I just can’t stand the thought of being weak, of not being able to fight back, or being a liability to you. I need to get through this so I can train again. I have to-” 

Keith cut Lance off as he wrapped his arms around him again and pulled him into a firm embrace, pressing his face against Lance’s jaw and kissing it lightly, breathing in and out, feeling the echo of the paladin bond that still tied them together. 

Lance protested lightly, his voice choked up, “Come on, Keith. I’m sweaty and gross, and I’ve been crying.” 

Keith didn’t move, didn’t say anything. He just kissed Lance again on his neck, moving to his temple, his brow, his jaw, grazing his lips, pressing every ounce of love he had into the touches. 

Lance shook in his arms, before slowly drawing up his right hand to tangle his fingers in Keith’s hair. He apparently needed the cry because his whole body jerked as he let it out and he pressed himself against Keith so tightly it became uncomfortably warm. 

He pulled away to kiss Keith back on the cheek, and wipe his eyes with his shirt. He looked better, eyes bright and his body relaxed. 

“Sorry,” he said, a bashful smile on his face. “I needed that apparently. Ya boy is an emotional mess.” 

Keith stopped, drawing back to look at Lance directly. Even in the fluorescent lights, he was so beautiful, his smooth dark skin flushed, eyes bright. His hair was a bit of a mess, but it was adorable. He never wanted to let go of this man again. Looking outside, the sun had gone down and the dark blue night sky was streaked with deep red and orange. 

He met Lance’s gaze and kissed him slowly, tenderly. Their lips brushed together as he spoke.

“You never have to apologize for telling me how you feel. You never have to feel ashamed for feeling sad or angry or bitter. I’m so happy that you share it and just want to be there for you.”

Lance’s brows raised and he swallowed hard before opening mouth to respond. 

“Not done just yet, you had your turn now you’ve got to give me a minute.” Keith bluntly said, earning him an eye roll and a snort. His heart pounded as he began again **. **

“It’s totally normal to feel frustrated and angry. I need you to share that with me. I want to hear it all! But you got one thing wrong, Lance,” Keith’s hands moved to cradle the other’s face, calloused thumbs stroking his cheekbones. 

“You aren’t weak. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. You never quit, even when you’re hurting and down. You still try even when you doubt yourself. You embrace life with open arms and even when you have to work so hard every day to move forward just a half an inch, you do it. I’m so proud of you.” 

Keith paused for a moment, watching Lance’s eyes widen, absorb the words, tear up again. His heart was hammering away in his chest and he couldn’t even feel the box in his hands, but he was more than ready. 

_ Here we go... _

He knelt down and Lance gasped, covering his mouth his hands. 

“Right here?” He looked so flustered that Keith couldn’t help a chuckle because he was about to propose in the gym of the Garrison and it  _ was _ a little ridiculous. 

Lance glared, “Keith Kogane, I am literally a hot mess right now!” Despite the dark look, Lance’s voice was happy and trembling.

Keith lost his voice for a minute and when he spoke again, it cracked. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re beautiful. And besides, I couldn’t wait another day without asking you.”

Keith flushed then, feeling embarrassed as he realized he had gone purely off instinct. Today had just felt right, but shouldn’t he have planned a party, called their family and friends, found a scenic place? He felt a bead of sweat on his temple.

“If you want, I can do it somewhere else. You can plan a party?” 

Lance shook his head, “No way, his voice shook with emotion. “You started this, you get to finish it.” Keith felt his joy radiate through the bond in his own chest. A hot tear escaped down his face. 

“Lance McClain, you’ll never be a weak person, but even if you were, I’d be strong for you. You don’t need to be anything except exactly the way you are. You’re perfect and I want to stand by your side forever. Will you,” his voice was choked by tears and he took a deep breath, “will you make me the happiest man in the universe? Will you marry me?”

Lance wiped away his own tears as he spoke, before slowly kneeling down in front of Keith to wrap his arms around him and said, “Yes.” They pulled away to place the ring on Lance’s finger, but it took a few tries as they were both shaking. 

When the gold ring was on, Lance leaned forward again to kiss Keith gently. Lance’s heart raced as they held each other and he whispered his words of love in return. “I can’t believe you’re mine,” he repeated breathily. 

_ I can.. _ .

Keith slowly noticed that the twilight was gone, so he bumped and said, “do you want to take some pictures?”

Lance drew back and nodded, “I paid for our engagement photoshoot a while ago but a candid would be nice.” Keith didn’t know whether to be flattered or frustrated that Lance had figured out he was planning to propose. It was silly but it made him happy to know they were so in sync.

The two stood and picked up their things from around the gym, and put the used equipment away before they shut off the lights and walked down the hall. Lance linked their arms as the went, sending out photos of his ring as they went. 

Keith was so content, so warm, it was almost concerning. The peace inside him, and the peace he felt from Lance through their bond was overpowering. He felt he could take on the world. 

Lance asked Janile to take their picture as he dangled the ring in her face. Her resulting shriek helped to wake him from his stupor and after a round of hugs, the two posed in front of the office fish tank, arms around each other and smiling the widest Keith could remember smiling. 

Janile cooed at them, “Awww, you’re glowing.”

As she took pictures from different angles, Keith turned his head to meet Lance’s fond gaze and kissed him. 

_ I’m never going to let you go again. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this and sticking through to the end! This is my real first multi-chapter fic and there was a lot of editing, writing, crying, and throwing my hands up and vowing never to write again involved. I do appreciate any feedback you can offer. Thanks again!

**Author's Note:**

> This story was thought up as part of the [Hey There Sharpshooter Lance bang ](https://lanceloveshipbang.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> I want to thank my beta reader [enemytosleep](https://archiveofourown.org/users/enemytosleep) for betaing this monster despite multiple delays on my end and for contributing their beautiful artwork to the story. I hope you'll check out their stories and [art](https://drive.google.com/file/d/18ar9LUKo2imSTTie3Oy-QDNF4HKzxMMt/edit) too! 
> 
> I also want to thank my artist [Watachan](https://wata-art.tumblr.com) for her sweetness and whipping up [multiple](https://photos.app.goo.gl/SUQhjPrRoATzZMNr7) [pieces](https://photos.app.goo.gl/k4agmyAQbEzV2Wkm8) of beautiful art for this story. You can find her post for this story here and please be sure to check out her tumblr for her other work too!
> 
> It took hours of blood, sweat, and tears to get it all down and was a real labor of love. Please if you do read it, take a moment to share your thoughts below. If you feel I haven't tagged this correctly, or feel strongly about my story, please do message me or leave a comment below. Thanks for reading! And Happy Birthday to Lance!


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